CERN has approved the plans for a new super-collider, friends. And this one? It’s fucking four times bigger than the existing one. 62 miles long! They’re getting ready to study that Higgs boson with even more fucking precision.

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Don’t pay attention to the fact that no one is saying we’ve actually found the Higgs Boson and just be sensational. It’s the Fourth of July. I’m sure you’re lubed up on oak sodas and seared animal flesh. Let’s dance.

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