#January2013
Kojima didn’t want RAIDEN’S SILLY ASS for ‘Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance’
Hand it to Kojima. Usually all he wants to do is vomit up nonsensical philosophical cut scenes, and continuing building games where Jesus Christ-Am-I-Crouching-Or-Am-I-Crawling moments occur. However, in the making of Metal Gear Arrogance: Silly Titles Slash time, the good sir had a great fucking idea. To not put Raiden in that title.
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Rumor: ‘METAL GEAR SOLID 5’ secretly announced at SPIKE VGA. Oh, Kojima!
At the Spike VGA, the game The Phantom Pain was revealed. Ain’t nobody had heard of it, or its developer, and this was a bit of a head scratcher. It is not usual for such a sexy looking entity to come out of nowhere. What if, folks, there was more to this story! What if, that title was actually Metal Gear Solid V? It would be so fucking Kojima, that’s what.
‘METAL GEAR SOLID: GROUND ZEROES’ totally featuring day/night cycles. Plus! HQ pics.
Here’s some jammy jam information and new pictures of Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes, fresh out of the confines of PAX Prime.
Press Start: Haggar n’ Humanity
Hey guy, like the video games? The bleep-de-bloops? The whizz-pop and the shazmatt? Does it even matter? I mean, really, in this day and age; what with microchips and the constant ebb of information, who cares what you’re actually reading about? Words, man. They’re just words and so, here’s roughly 915 of the buggers.
‘METAL GEAR SOLID: GROUND ZEROES’ is an open-world prologue to MGS5. Infinite Scissors 61!
For some reason I’m stoked for Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes. Intellectually, I know I shouldn’t be. MGS4 shit in my soul. Right deep down in there. However, I’ll float Kojima the past. Homeboy is bringing this newest title into an open-world, and he is paying it forward and giving me a younger Snake. I’m sold. Okay? Sold.
‘METAL GEAR SOLID: GROUND ZEROES’ announced. Sexy Snake is back, yo!
People attending the Metal Gear 25th anniversary event were lucky enough to catch a glimpse at the next MGS jam. The game is titled Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes, and if the teaser footage is any indication, we’re getting sexy Snake back. I’m pumped. Don’t get me wrong, having Snake as an old wizened piece of shit in MGs4 made sense thematically. Emotionally, it was a drag carrying his old fart balls around.
The NEXT METAL GEAR SOLID’S engine will be revealed AUGUST 30. Scissors, or something.
Hideo Kojima is almost ready to pull down the pants of the engine that’s going to power the next Metal Gear Solid. The good sir will be revealing the Fox Engine at an event on August 30. There’s no news if this same engine will be taught an algorithm to generate even more impressively complex, overly soggy philosophical ideas for the series’ narratives.
‘METAL GEAR’ Has Sold 31.1 Million Over Its Lifetime. Lots of Rations (Groan)
Metal Gear has been holding it down in our collective gaming brain-pieces for a while now. At the very least since Kojima went CINEMATIC on our asses in the original MGS, it not before that. It isn’t surprising then that the series has sold in droves, though I wouldn’t have been able to put a finger on the amount. Or a finger on my nose. ‘Cause I’m drunk with stealth. You heard me.
Konami Recruiting For The ‘Latest Metal Gear Solid’
Go figure. There’s going to be a new Metal Gear Solid. Who knows what’s going to be going on in it, but Jesus Christ someone get that mustache off of Solid.
Hideo Kojima’s Next Game Is Set In ‘Very Open World’, No Word On Philosophical Vomiting.
Hideo Kojima was on CNN recently promoting his metaphysical vitamin supplement called Scissors 61! (this is a lie) and he began to talk about his next game codenamed Project Ogre.
