#August2011
THIS WEEK ON True Blood: Burning Down The House
Just wait until you see the last scene, my friend Adam told me. True Blood, he said, is a truly awful show. Momentous words coming from the only dude in my group of friends who still watches this show besides me. One by one the buddies of mine have ducked out. Everyone else has been felled by the trite themes, the clichéd characters, and the spread-thin storylines.
Just wait until you see the last scene.
And saw I did.
7 Comments »
THIS WEEK ON True Blood: Let’s Get Out Of Here.
It’s impressive how out of touch the writers of True Blood are with their own subtexts. Nothing could have solid their obliviousness better than the puke-inducing monologue that Slutty Sookie delivered to her two panting, devolved meat-sac lovers who wanted nothing more than to explode their cock-missiles all over her stratosphere.
A sultry Sookie drabbed in red lingerie stood center frame. She spoke to the two man, flanked on either side both emotionally and physically by the two other lines in their insufferable love triangle. Then somehow within the confines of a wet dream, Sookie clad in nothing but suggestions of cloth decided to launch into some absurd (in the context) feminist diatribe.
THIS WEEK ON True Blood: I Wish I Was the Moon
Last night’s episode of True Blood was an obvious homage to Shakespearean notions of the Forest. A world filled without rules, which character depart into to exercise their darkest desires. Without the constraints of society, in the comforting sanctity of trees and creaks and shit, vampires and faeries can fuck to their heart’s content. Balls-swinging, butt-bumpin’ mossy bark grindin’ fucking.
THIS WEEK ON True Blood: If You Love Me, Why Am I Dyin’?
Alright, this is what I’m talking about. I dug last night’s True Blood more than I had any episode in recent memory. On a relative scale, nothing really happened. Everything was par the True Blood course. Couples fought. Vampires fucked. Melodrama was as melodrama is. However by slowing down the episode and giving characters time to interact on a personal level, the show hit with a funny, charming episode.
THIS WEEK ON True Blood: You Smell Like Dinner
Still stuffed to the brim with hormonal beef, remnants of little alcohol atoms rocketing around my synapses, tired from the first day of work since Thursday, I sat down this afternoon and watched the second episode of True Blood’s fourth season. Be it the chemical-soaked flesh I munched en masse yesterday, the fatigue, the lingering hangover from too much frisbee and alcohol and too little water, but I enjoyed the episode.
THIS WEEK ON True Blood: She’s Not There
I tried to approach this season of True Blood with a healthy set of expectations. I told myself that it is, at best, pulpy empty fun. Even with that in mind, whew. Going from Game of Thrones to True Blood in the span of a week is fucking brutal. Brutal! It wasn’t that the season four premiere was awful. It was the same as the last two seasons or so have been. Intermittently entertaining, trying too hard to cram in too much story, and at times utterly painful to consume.
‘Games of Thrones’ Theme Gets 8-Bit Style Remix.
The theme to Game of Thrones is one colossally awesome affair. Some enterprising lads or ladettes, or both, have taken said theme and given it an 8-bit wash. Now my favorite geeky fantasy TV show can sound like a throwback to the RPGs I played to the point of obesity and perma-virginity.
Hit the jump to check it out.
Tom Hanks To Produce Six-Season Adaptation of Gaiman’s ‘American Gods.’
The whispered-about, rumored-about HBO adaptation of Neil Gaiman’s American Gods is officially a fucking go. Tom Hanks and his totally mint production team are planning a six-season adaptation.
Game of Thrones: Baelor
Game of Thrones. I don’t usually write the column. I’m tagging in for the inestimably superior Oh Mars. As well, unlike Mars, I haven’t read the books. So bare with me, as I take to this endeavor as someone experiencing the events for the first time.
What a fucking episode to leave for, Coop! Goodness gracious. The end of all things! Or I suppose the culmination of the very depressing beginning to things. In case you missed the wonderfully overemphasized thesis statement during a scene at The Wall this penultimate episode of the season is dealing with Duty and Love.
Game of Thrones: The Wolf and the Lion
More than any other episode thus far, “The Wolf and the Lion” feature moments that did not occur in the book. While some fans may turn their nose up at this, I think it’s been the only way to present some of the character backgrounds and relationships penned by George R.R. Martin. Writers David Benioff and D.B. Weiss have been doing an excellent job at adapting Martin’s rich tomes and this episode prominently displays their understanding of the material. The great scene between Robert and Cersei is a perfect example of this. It never happens in the books, but it makes sense on the screen and allows newbie viewers a deep look into how things work in the Seven Kingdoms.
