Thunder and lightning and gods seek revenge! This is the Covers Variant, your weekly destination to hear one comic book near blather. Blather incessantly about the titles he’s excited about picking up tomorrow. It’s a stacked week for me, as my diminishing insanity has increased my interest in the funny books tenfold. How else to escape from an army of due dates and end of the semester papers? Forwards! Backwards! Everywhere, through time.

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Northlanders #34
Brian Wood’s latest storyline wraps up this month in the conclusion of Metal. I’ll be sad to see it go. It’s been my go-to comic book every week that it’s come out. Kick back, crack the shit out of this one’s spine, and drift back into an age of Viking fury, axe wounds, and commentary on the power of faith. Fair thee well, Erik. You were a good dumb son of a bitch Viking, raging against the Christian machine. But I’m pretty sure you’re not going to make it out of this alive.

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Harlan Ellison’s Phoenix Without Ashes #4
The final issue of Harlan Ellison’s failed TV pilot turned graphic novel mindfuck comes out this week, and what a sweet embrace it shall be. It’s been a favorite comic of mine since it debuted, and the four issues have been taut and action packed. It isn’t so much that I lament the story ending because there is so much more to do with it, but rather out of an appreciate for the ride I’ve been taken on. Listen, it’s simple: science-fiction god is spinning a final tale that reeks of prescient tropes (he wrote this thing back in the day), and familiar narratives.

It’s easy to let this one slide past, particularly since it seems to have gone without being noticed by the Grand Hype Machine. Do yourself a solid and see a master explain through panel and pacing why he is a geek pillar.

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Batman Incorporated #1
Last week, without the majority of the comic book world noticing it, Grant Morrison turned Batman into a God. Literally.This week, Wayne undertakes the much more pedestrian task of turning Batman into a corporation. A globe trotting assemblage of Batmen and Batwomen, kicking ass and taking names as a collection of vigilantes. It stems off the recent reveal by Brucey not that he is Batman, but rather that he funds him.

Alright Morrison, I’ll give it to you, I’m intrigued. My main concern is how sustainable this storyline is; how long can a legion of Flying Rodents deal out justice before it comes crashing down around him. I’m a battered spouse, and I’ve been promised status quos being rearranged too many times to think something as drastic as this will persist. Maybe that’s just me.

Every week we’re promised something insane. This week it was the Death of Spider-Man, which will change the Ultimate universe forever! Yawn. Can’t trick me again. Actually, you can. I’m a sucker. Also dropping this week is nineteen other Batman titles, including Batman: The Return, a one-shot which will probably do nothing more than serve as table-setting for everything else in the Bat-universe.

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Superior #2
Mark Millar used to be a favorite writer of mine. These days, I find him far too obviously lusting for shock. We are not best friends any longer. That said, the first issue of Superior was decent to me, and I found that to be more than I could say for his other works, like Nemesis, Kick-Ass 2, or Ultimate Avengers. While it still served up the paste that used to be the trope of the Average Kid Desiring the Incredible that he’s beaten into paste, it dared to bring with it something that had been missing from his works: heart. Maybe I’m a sucker, but the starry-eyed kid with a disability getting the ability to be fantastic tugs on strings of empathy that bleed within my crusty dork heart.

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