#December2013
Best of 2013 – The Annual RENDAR List!
Holy smokes — it’s the final day of 2013.
Reflectin’ on the last twelve months, I have to say that it was a pretty solid year. Am I without financial concerns? Do I wield enough agency to do whatever I please? Have I achieved all my goals? No. No. And no.
But as far as relative simple lives go, mine is a goddamn blessing. I’m surrounded by righteous friends. My zany family has my back. I live with the absolutely babe-tacular Bride of Frankenstein. I’ve got a job I believe in. And I don’t have to travel to a rival village, murder an elder with a rock, and steal the water supply.
Also, they still let me navigate Spaceship OL!
So with my love of life intact, let’s meander through some of my personal favorites from the year TWO-ZERO-ONE-THREE!
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Monday Morning Commute: Choke on the Pulp. Die with a Smile.
It’s been a week since I reappeared on the deck of the ship, smiling through the sludge I’d been wading in for far too long.
I was worried about the transition. Captain Pow had every right to be salty, seeing as I’d disappeared without any warning. Piloting this old war-bird with even the most seasoned of navigators can be a goddamn nightmare, so my absence certainly didn’t help.Whereas I’d anticipated being on the receiving end of a Big-Brother Bitch-Slap, he greeted me with open arms.
The stalwart captain welcoming his prodigal brother.
Since then, the pop-culture seas have been kind to me, revitalizing me after an extended absence. My sealegs are strong, helping me regain my strength through the wonder of muscle memory. And still, I’ve yet to completely return to form. I’m still suffering the residual effects of being lost in that Modern-Life Maelstrom.
Every other nite, my crewmates find me sleep-screaming about memos to read and projects to complete and bills to pay and other such nonsense that crushes spirits.
So how’m I going to overcome my infected blood? How do I enjoy the ride when I know the high Highs are always curbed by low Lows? Well, I’m goin’ to keep readin’ the maps and chartin’ the stars. I’m going to breathe deep the life-giving air found these glorious, treacherous, horrifyingly wondrous astral-seas. I’m goin’ to suck the pulp until its dried and withered and I choke to death on the juice, clutching my throat and smiling all the way.
And to do this, I’ll stay aboard Spaceship OL, doing everything I can to be the best goddamn navigator possible.
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This is the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! First, I sling thinly-veiled metaphors about existentialism at you. Then, I give you the run-down on the pop-culture detritus I’ll be gnashing my teeth on in upcoming days. Finally, you hit up the comments section and tell us how you’ll keep yourself entertained.
It’s digital show-and-tell for the maladjusted.
Let’s do this!
