Benicio Del Toro has joined Guardians of the Galaxy. And you thought that Man of Steel had a ridiculous ensemble. Eh? Yeah, stick that notion in your butt and fly to the Moon! Turkeys. Wait — what was I saying? Oh yeah! Also, the Good Dude has also signed a multi-picture deal with the Marvelous Company. Anyone want to join me in the Stroke-It-Circle, hoping that he is playing Thanos?

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I continue covering Guardians of the Galaxy news, not really familiar with both the Universe, and half the cast. Whatever. It’s a ridiculously expensive space epic set within the Marvel Universe. That alone has my attention. The latest addition to the cast is Karen Gillan. She’s from Doctor Who, which I also don’t know much about.

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I don’t even know if “near joining” make sense. Whatever. All bow to the power of the pun. So uh yeah, where were we? Oh yes. Glenn Close is joining Guardians of the Galaxy. I guess. I wish I had more understanding about who she was playing, and the such. I’m just so goddamn stupid when it comes to this Universe. (And in general, yes, okay, whatever.) With that in mind, let’s kick it to the story!

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I’m beginning to get interested about this Guardians of the Galaxy flick. Rendar keeps telling me it is going to be Marvel’s first great flop, and it might be. Yet even if it falls down on its wildly esoteric face, between the director and the absurd collection of characters populating the cast, I’m intrigued. The latest duder to become a guardian is that white trash guy from AMC’s Arguing around Zombies. 

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I don’t know much about Gamora or Guardians of the Galaxy, but I sure do love me some Zoe Saldana. With that established, I would like to welcome this news with open arms. Come over to the Marvel Movie Universe, Ms. Saldana. Let us hang out for a bit. I’ve brought lemon squares and iced tea.

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Avengers 2 news! Phase two news! Smash this info-dump down your esophagus, and wash it down with some cinematic hyperbole. The Marvel Leviathan shall stop for no one, Gods (of Death) help us all.

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Shut up, it will always be the WWF to me. So yeah. Wrestler guy Bautista has been signed to play Drax (who?) in Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy. Cool? I happily kick this to community members for evaluation, since I don’t know a goddamn thing about this franchise.

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Goddamn! Guardians of the Galaxy is going to take place in space. Did you know that? Seems pretty obvious. Still, it strikes me as a bit of a risk. Expensive-ass space movie starring characters pretty much no one knows? Marvel is rolling their nuts around in the honey when it comes to Guardians of the Galaxy. The only question is whether they shall be glazed in glory, or if fire ants will latch onto their financial risk. Oh yeah! And did you know that Captain America 2: LOL You Didn’t Know Bucky Lives? is going to be a political thriller?

All that and more, within!

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I love me some Chris Pratt, almost exclusively due to his performances in Parks & Rec. That said, he was good enough in Zero Dark Thirty, and apparently he is in Billy Beaner is Really Smartz. So him being cast as the lead in Guardians of the Galaxy is officially marks the moment where I begin getting excited for the flick.

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Sweet baby Zeus, what is going on here. If you believe the buzz around the Pop Culture Watering Hole, Marvel is courting two washed-up, unfunny since forever ago choads for Guardians of the Galaxy.

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