Makes sense that the first character poster for Guardians of the Galaxy is trumping up the Rocketing Raccoon and the Tree Guy. The fuzzy one is seeming like a soon-to-be-star, and Disney hasn’t missed a chance to point out that his body guard is voiced by Vinny Diesel. Behold the full version post-cut.

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Look at this fucking gnarly mash-up poster by Matt Ferguson. You know, I was going to post this tomorrow. ‘Cause today I already jerked off with uncomfortable fervor to the new Guardians of the Galaxy TV spot here on the site. But!, pretty much everyone else and their Mom is posting it. So by tomorrow it’ll be totally stale biscuits. If it ain’t already. CarpeclickbaityaknowwhatImean?

Need some salve to rub on your Wright-rubbed-raw Marvel fanboy tits? Here it is! A delectable new TV spot for Rocket Raccoon’s Merry Band Of Marauders! I’m stoked for this flick. Like, way stoked. Here. Touch my sweatpants if you’d like. Yeah. That stoked.

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Josh Brolin is Thanos? I can dig it! But that isn’t saying much. I dig Josh Brolin on The General, so him participating in the MCU is enough to get my back arching in fanboy glands-swelling ecstasy.

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This movie needs to get inside me already.

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Here’s a new Guardians of the Galaxy poster, which is clearly attempting to appeal to douchebags who aren’t immediately sold on ass-kicking sentient trees. I mean, all that serious posing! Goodness! Gracious. Eh, whatever. New trailer on Monday, so there’s that to get excited about!

[Update] Not one, but two! (and if they’re counting down I assume there’s a new one coming today as well) Guardians of the Galaxy teasers. A  second one has dropped featuring dumb Bradley Cooper’s voice for Rocket Raccoon.

Here’s a fucking twenty-second teaser offering from the next Guardians of the Galaxy trailer. SHOUT OUT TO GROOT, STAR-LORD’S ABS, WALKING AROUND SPACE-CITIES, AND SLOW MOTION. I cannot fucking wait for this jam.

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Several things happen every time I see the Guardians of the Galaxy trailer. First, I apologize for hitting the person in front of me in the theater with my geek priapism. Second, I coo slowly at Chris Pratt, attempting to draw him out of the screen. Ala Last Action Hero. Third, I lament that I don’t read enough of the comics surrounding this Universe.

So Imma definitely snag this new on-going in an attempt to rectify at least one of those happenings.

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Hankering for more Guardians of the Galaxy images? In the higherest (new word) of resolutions? Plus how the flick is (honestly, obviously) going to connect to Avengers 3? And more details? For your gluttonous geek guts? Then you’ve found the right fucking place.

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Fuck-to-the-Yes! It’s been a week since Bucky and His Robo-Arm fisted my geek prostate! Which can mean only one thing for this pop culture whore. I’m staring at the Guardians of the Galaxy release date with fervor. On to the next one, on to the next one. Here to tide you and me over are a couple of new stills from the latest Entertainment Commercial Propaganda Rag.

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