Hey friends! Happy fucking Fourth of July Weekend! I wanna open up the Bar, so we can spend some time together the next couple of days. But, I’m pressed as fuck for time! Which means I gotta do it quicker than a motherfucker. So, I’m going to ask you to come hang out! Tell me! What are you doing to celebrate, if anything? Let me know! Blowing up phalanges with fireworks? Eating seared animal flesh? Watching Jaws? I want to know!

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Let’s get this out of the way. I know I live a privileged life, full of privilege-laden problems. That said, I am still colossally grateful that it is the weekend. I know I live a privileged life, full of privilege-laden problems. That said, I’m still glad that I have this wonderful little community to buoy me on my more trying weeks.

The fucking dog is fine, the fucking plumbing is fine.

It’s a long weekend.

Life’s better than okay, it’s pretty good. And, my mind will certainly plug its own psychic holes with a couple of days of sleep-based sealant applied.

So come, Comrades.

So come, citizens, voyeurs, and vacationers of the Space-Ship Omega.

Join me here in the one, the only, Weekend Open Bar.

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Oh fuck! It’s been a hell of a day, and that’s why I’m late opening the bar. (Why was it late, Ian?) I’m glad you asked! I’ll tell you! SAM-OMEGA and myself went to see a house today, as we are (were?) hunting for a new abode. And what began as a viewing snowballed into a four-hour extravaganza that ended in us having an offer accepted! So fuck! I’m on my way to thirty years of Debt Slave toiling. And I’m excited about it! But even if the grind gets too much (SEGUE!!!) from Monday through Friday, I’ll always have the Weekend Open Bar.

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I’m anything but an Alpha Male. In fact, SAM-OMEGA is definitely the Matriarch of our officially unified relationship. An Alpha Female, who is willing to punch down doors, and vaporize the Walls of Impossibility to get what she wants for her family and herself. This is perfectly okay to me. Every Batman (her) needs their trusty Robin (this dickhead). And so I’m looking forward to wasting the weekend away with her before she departs on Sunday for Alpha Female Business Trip #Something of the year. What are you up to the next couple of days? This is Weekend Open Bar, the weekly post where we share what we’re up to on our (hopeful) Siesta from the Grind.

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What’s next?! What’s next?! It’s the fucking Weekend! Kick open the doors to the Bar! Get the tap flowing! Gather around and share what you’re up to this these next two days! Be it seeing Age of Ultron. Or hunting aliens in Grand Theft Auto V. Share gifs, share stories. Share empirical evidence that somehow we survived the snow and that the color green still exists.

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This is Weekend Open Bar, and I have a confession to make: I am Brett Favre. Last week I firmly, firmly thought to myself, “I’m fucking done with Omega-Level.” Was seriously bumming. My brother doesn’t write any more, my favorite commenters don’t comment any more. Fuck you, Omega-Level. Fuck you. Any of the three people who come across the site may have thought the same thing. There were no new postings. Since I had, in fact, quit. But just like Brett Favre retiring/unretiring/retiring/unretiring, here I am. I just can’t quit.

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Hello, friends. The heat is on, the sky is dark. My belly is full of queso and contentment. It’s the weekend. Let’s all gather here at theOpen Bar and shoot the shit for the next couple of days. ‘Cause if you can suck wind, suck down bandwidth, and take the time to join in this weekly commune…things could be worse. Maybe better? Sure. But maybe worse? Definitely.

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It’s the Weekend! That can only mean one thing! Exerting a feigned since of self-autonomy through consumption and reproduction! The Man can’t hold us down! Not as long as we eat shitty food, buy shitty baubles, and consume shitty entertainment they engineer to distract us! Ha! Fuck you, The Man! And as a final, fleeting mechanism for self-actualization, we will gather here in the Weekend Open Bar.

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It’s been a hot minute since we’ve rocked a Weekend Open Bar, but fuck it! As the kids say (said! like two years ago!) #YOLO. It’s been quiet around here, so this is the perfect post to just shoot the breeze. Share your plans for the weekend! Post dumb gifs. Enumerate the various reasons that you’re turned on by the Kool-Aid Man. (Pretty much) anything goes!