#December2017
SNES Saturdays #7 & 8 – Booty Had Me Like…Van Damme is God
We’re late! Getting these up! Always late…getting it up. I know, I know. Too easy. Too lame. Too puerile. Which makes it perfectly fitting for my dumb ass! But, here we go!
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WEEKEND OPEN BAR: Sequel Superiority!
[WEEKEND OPEN BAR: The one-stop ramble-about-anything weekend post at OL. Comment on the topic at hand. Tell us how drunk you are. Describe a comic you bought. This is your chance to bring the party.]
It was during the 8th century BCE that the Greek poet-Jedi known as Homer detailed the events of the Trojan War with the Iliad. An impassioned narrative of a conflict between kings, warriors, gods, and mortals, Homer’s epic poem has been celebrated since its inception. However, the readers who stop after reading the final line of the Iliad (“Thus, then, did they celebrate the funeral of Hector tamer of horses.“) has only treated themselves to half of the story.
The second half of the tale comes in the form of the Odyssey, an epic which follows Odysseus on his dangerous voyage home. Odysseus is a hero of the Trojan War (like the Trojan Horse? Yeah, that was his idea), but he’s slipped into a slick puddle of shit-luck. As such, his return to Ithaca has been delayed by incredible storms, man-eating monsters, an encounter with Polyphemos that ends with being cursed by Poseidon, the allure of Sirens’ songs, and more than a few battles. Oh, when Odysseus finally gets home, he has to figure out how to kill all of the assholes that’ve been depleting his estate and trying to court his wife.
But don’t worry – Odysseus pulls it off, and in style!
“’Dogs! You thought I would never come back from Troy, so you have been carving up my substance, forcing the women to lie with you, courting my wife before I was dead, not fearing the gods who rule the broad heavens, nor the execration of man which follows you for ever. And now the cords of death are made fast about you all!’”
Not only is the Odyssey a mythological tour de force that’s still read and studied and imitated today, it’s also the first documented sequel in the history of narrative. And it’s bad-ass. Hell, many believe it to be equal, if not superior, to the Iliad.
Sure, there’s an argument to be had that most sequels are cheap cash-grabs that capitalize on the popularity of great works. There’s no denyin’ that much of the direct-to-video market is built on this premise. But with the Odyssey having been established nearly three thousand years ago, there’s a time-tested precedent that sometimes sequels are worthwhile continuations.
So here’s our topic of discussion: What is your favorite sequel?
OL STORE: Dr. Venkman Crushes Ass!
A new combatant has entered the battle royale that is the OL STORE!
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He has PhDs in psychology and parapsychology. He’s the host of World of the Psychic. He thwarted Vigo the Carpathian’s plan to bring about the apocalypse. He defended New York City from a 50-foot marshmallow man, and five years later he piloted the Statue of Liberty. And when need be, he can show a prehistoric bitch how things’re done downtown.
He’s Dr. Peter Venkman and he crushes ass.
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Head over to the OL STORE and snag the t-shirt that celebrates the paranormal promiscuity of Billy Murray’s greatest character!
OPEN FOR BUSINESS: The OL Store!
Come one, come all! This day’s been in the making for longer than we’d like to admit, but it’s finally here! Today, we officially open the OL STORE!
We’ve taken the same overcaffeinated, slightly-delusional, fun-lovin’ panache we put into our posts and smeared it all over some t-shirts. The result? Nerd-culture t-shirts that’re bound to inspire conversation wherever you go – the supermarket checkout line, the watering hole of your choice, or your weekly D&D session.
Round One of the great OL STORE battle royale sees eight different designs climbin’ into the ring. Hit the jump to hyperspace, grab an ice-cold Pepsi, and check out our wares!
Video: Make Your Own Vigo the Carpathian Painting With Kinect. Ghosbusters Rockitude.
Take Vigo the Carpathian from Ghostbusters 2. Mix him with dorks. Drizzle in some Xbox Kinect hacking. You get a real-life Vigo the Carpathian painting. What a monument to dork prowess.
OCTOBERFEAST – Vigo the Carpathian
[OCTOBERFEAST is the greatest celebration of the year, a revelry dedicated to pop-culture’s most nutritious Halloween detritus. Plastic screams and artificial sweeteners have never been more bountiful. In the old country, villagers refer to the extended party as Satan’s Snacktime]
Mythology is a facet of human existence that is simply unfettered by the constraints of space and time. With its archetypal structures firmly embedded within the collective unconscious, mythology is both prehistoric and ever-persistent. Heroes and villains. Tragedies and triumphs. Narratives will always be around, adapting accordingly and continuing to provide guidelines for livin’.
The messiah is Jesus is Neo. The sage is Virgil is Ben Kenobi. The bildungsroman is Holden’s excursion into NYC.
You get the point.
Operating under the presumption of narrative omnipresence, it becomes clear who can be credited as the most dastardly of villains. While dark forces work against every era, there are also those especially evil forces that’re willing to plague innocent folk across the epochs. These overachievers traverse space and time, doing their best to snub out the dwindling flicker that is human benevolence at every vulnerable moment.
Of all the malignant space-pirates floating around the universal ether, and there’s no shortage of `em, one is a notch above. This is a man whose powers allow him not only to travel through time, but to stave off death in a manner impossible for mere mortals. Yes, this is a man who upon being killed (which required he be shot, stabbed, hung, stretched, disemboweled, and then drawn and quartered) remarked, “Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I’ll be back.”
So, if you would, all of the OCTOBERFEAST celebrants are asked to please give a warm welcome to a magician who needs no introduction but will get one anyways. A man who almost ruined NYC’s 1989 New Year’s Eve festivities. A fellow who almost killed Bill Murray.
The one. The only. Vigo the Carpathian.
An Omega New Year’s Eve!
New Year’s Eve! This is it for 2010 – last chance to dance! And I encourage you to do just that. Surround yourself with friends and loved ones. Drink. Eat. Play video games. Be merry. Most importantly, cherish your life and look forward to the opportunities provided just be virtue of being able to continue.
For your amusement, I present an (un)official NYE pre-gamin’ playlist.
Oh my God! The Scoleri Brothers!
If my hands weren’t tied by the unalterable fetters of the law, then I would invoke the tradition of our illustrious forebears, reach back to a purer, sterner justice, and have you BURNED AT THE STAKE!
OCTOBERFEAST – Bobby Brown
Ghostbusters II is an absolute cinematic masterpiece. No other film provides quite a perfect blend of humor, science fiction, horror and (of course) Ernie Hudson. Thinking about it now, I realize that I have probably watched this movie from start to finish more than any other. The sequel to Ghostbusters is an important part of my life and I hope that it is for you as well.
But just in case it isn’t, I’ve decided to use OCTOBERFEAST to persuade you. A little known fact is Ghostbusters II features Bobby Brown’s On Our Own, known to critics and thespians everywhere as the all-time greatest song in a soundtrack. Yes, even before marrying & ruining Whitney Houston, Bobby Brown was doing fantastic things.
For your viewing pleasure…And to help you prepare for the impending invasion of ghouls and ghosts…
Bobby Brown’s On Our Own — set to a terrible slide show of still shots from Ghostbusters II:
