It was just a clever (or more accurately a not-accurate) headline. I’m actually feeling these pictures of Scott, Jean, and more.

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Come one, come all into your one-stop for today’s collection of Nextbox rumors. Most significant is the seeming confirmation that we won’t be getting a reveal of Microsoft’s new money-maker until May. Son of a bitch. Previous rumors had pointed towards this month, but for whatever reason it shant come to pass. My guess on the delay? I propose that Steve Ballmer is still scraping the remains of that errant Microsoft creative director who trolled fans off the walls of Microsoft’s floating fortress. You ever see that guy go full Scanners on an employee? It’s terrifying.

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Wires are only good for tying up your loved ones, and slowly spanking them. In my future, there is no place for those easily-tangled bastards outside of eroticism. Apple feels me! Apple feels me! A new patent of theirs outlines the future we’ve been waiting for, a future replete with wireless charging.

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I know this is late news in the wunder-deluge that is the internet churn cycle, but fuck it I want to celebrate. NASA’s Curiosity rover has touched down safely on the Red Planet. Fuck yes.

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Earthworm Jim. Stalwart fixture of my early adolescence, has slowly faded out of mind. Now its fucking creator is all talking about a new edition, getting me excited. I know he’s just teasing my tip. I know it. Yet I find myself dreaming of a new installment. Perry, you fucker.

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