Epic Games has released a teaser for a teaser they’ll soon be dropping for Gears of War 3. The actual promo will “debut on May 28 during the Champions League Final Match…and during Game 6 of the NBA Eastern Conference Finals in the U.S.” What I find amazing is anyone who actually gets into the storyline for the Gears of War titles. They’re a minefield of hilarious brodude conventions and dickrock tropes. In other words, I fucking love them in some ironic, but not completely ironic, self-aware, but still mouth-breathing sort of way.

Hit the jump for the teaser of the teaser.

Read the rest of this entry »

Alright, there isn’t much super-violence in this trailer, but there clearly is an insane amount of dense-muscle fiber. I enjoy how they try to make the game so thematic and emotional, when I just want to be killing dudes with my fucking chainsaw gun.

It’s going to be righteous, though. When this drops I’m going to pop a viagra, snort a pixie stick or seven, and party the fuck out!