#February2012
Sony Santa Monica Helping With ‘The Last Guardian’, Excitement Draining.
The Last Guardian. I’ve sweated the game for a while. Wanted it. Needed it. Then Fumito Ueda left Sony and all of a sudden I began to despair. It wasn’t clear how this would affect the game’s progress. Now there’s news that other branches of Sony are being brought in to work on the game, and my asshole is puckering.
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Trailer: ‘Borderlands 2’ Promises To Rip My Tits Raw With Awesome.
This trailer makes my jizz squirt hot love gaming jizz. Almost got *too* fucking pumped and had to close the trailer before my brain-stem began seizing.
The ‘Diablo III’ Beta Has Shown Me The Glory
At this point, I’ve gotten the chance to play about three hours of the Diablo III beta, as both a monk and a barbarian. While me saying this may give Blizzard peoples the panic attacks that are indubitably postponing this shit from dropping, it’s Diablo II, just revised. It’s the same and god fucking dammit that’s okay. I’m not looking for them to reinvent the wheel. I’m looking for new levels to grind. New loot to covet with glossy eyes and jittering clicker fingers.
Female Writer For BioWare Has Pissed Off Legions Of Douches.
Jennifer Hepler writes for BioWare. She’s also under siege from an outstandingly large amount of douchebags across the Internet for a comment she made regarding working in the gaming industry. When asked in an interview what her least favorite things about the gaming industry was, she responded: playing the games. I have serious apprehensions about someone who feels this way about games writing for the medium, but a lot of responses were flat out bad news.
‘Alan Wake’ For The PC Recoups Dev and Marketing Costs In Two Days. Hell Yeah.
I love me some Alan Wake, and I’m terribly stoked that new content is dropping tomorrow on Xbox Live in the form of Alan Wake: American Nightmare. However, what I really, really, really fucking want is a proper sequel. I don’t know if we’ll get one, but Wake’s reception on the PC could be helping my cause.
Trailer: ‘Mass Effect 3’ Wants You To Take Back Earth. I Need Clean Pants.
Holy balls, and here I thought I couldn’t be any more excited for Mass Effect 3. I believe this originally aired last night during Walking Dog Shit which I have given up on. None the less. This trailer has me losing it! So epic! So serious! I mean, the Inception horns should let you know that!
Hit the jump to check it out.
‘Darksiders II’ Gets Release Date; The Apocalypse Digs The Beach
The Mayan Year of Oblivion is already stacked to the guts with quality releases, and Darksiders II is another pig you can add to the list of worthy snags. THQ has dropped an official release date for the title, as well as info on the multitudes of pre-order bonuses accompanying it.
Hit the jump for the details.
Trailer: ‘Max Payne 3’ Gets Second Official Reel of Awesome.
Max Payne 3 was originally scheduled to drop the same day as Mass Effect 3, and that was something I resented. With the release date pushed back into May, I’ll be able to saddle-up and enjoy the title. The second trailer brings the storyline into focus while teasing with the sort of bloodied nonsense that has come to be the franchise’s charm.
Hit the jump to check it out.
New ‘Resident Evil 6’ Details! No Rocky/Apollo Confirmation. Frown.
All I want out of Resident Evil 6 is a glorious moment where Leon and Chris skip along a beach holding hands and jumping up and hugging. You know, some Rocky III type shit. New details don’t confirm this, but they do get me excite!!!! for the game.
Next Xbox Is Code-Named Durango. Cue Easy Jokes.
The Next Xbox is getting itself a code-name, which means the son of a bitch is coming along. Processors installed and uh, such and stuff. It’s got itself a code named and well…it’s definitely better than Project Dolphin. I know, not saying much.
