#April2014
XBOX rolling out f**ing s**tload of original TV content in June
Xbox is rolling out a fucking panoply of original TV content starting in June. Wee?I mean, I guess this is a good thing. ‘Cause outside of Titanfall, I don’t really have a fucking reason to use my XB1 these days. Here’s hoping the initiative is the fucking tits.
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Naughty Dog LEAD CHARACTER ARTIST leaves studio
Is there fucking uranium in the water at Naughty Dog? Is there some sort of Krampus-like villain that patrols the halls, whipping everyone for insubstantial infractions? ‘Cause GODDAMN is everyone bailing out on the studio. The latest in the long line of departures? The lead character artist.
Retailer lists ‘MASS EFFECT TRILOGY’ for PS4 and Xbox One. PRAISE THE REAPERS
Praise the fucking Reapers! There was no trilogy I enjoyed more in the past generation (misgiving about the ending aside) than Mass Effect. So I’m totally onboard being a consumerist whore and purchasing the whole trilogy a second time in glorious HD. Hopefully without elevator loading times. And the ME3 engine powering the whole thing.
GAME BOY has turned 25 f**king years old. I am decrepit.
YEAH OKAY SO OFFICIALLY IT WAS YESTERDAY when Game Boy turned 25 years-old. But we’re going to talk about it today. ‘Cause this is my virtual house. And on top of not wearing shoes, making it okay to pee in the sink, and insisting the running water is replaced with Diet Dew, a main rule of mine is we talk about shit when I want to. (Or I get around to it.) But yeah seriously fuck Game Boy has turned old as shit, marking me as older than shit.
PlayStation 4 got a TWO-MILLI CONSOLE LEAD on the XB1.
I’m digging this console war. PS4 versus XB1 versus my wallet versus Godzilla versus Jizz-Covered Parking Lot Wanderers. It’s the greatest battle of the generation. And so while PS4 is outselling XB1 at the moment, both are selling pretty fucking well.
Dude BREAKS RECORD FOR LONGEST GAMING RUN ON ONE QUARTER. 85 f**king hours.
Here’s something that happened. Some power-gaming quasi-lord just broke the record for longest consecutive run on one quarter. 85 fucking hours. I can’t relate to doing anything for so long, or for even wanting to. But I can still tip my cap.
Double Fine’s ‘HACK N’ SLASH’ Trailer: Link Goes Zero Cool?
This next game from Double Fine has snuck the fuck up on me. Like, in the sense that I had never heard of it until today. But it looks…gnarly enough? Something like Legend of Zelda meets Hackers? I’m game! I just don’t know…What I’m game for.
XBOX Head Guy: XBOX has “resource and ambition” to CHANGE THE WORLD. lol
C’mon Phil Spencer. I recognize that all of you Bloat-Brained Head Honcho Ding Dongs are prone to hyperbole. I get that. But how about you unfuck the gaming community’s perception of the XB1 before you blather your super-hype, nonsense-crap.
‘TRANSISTOR’ from ‘BASTION’ dev drops NEXT MONTH
Oh baby. I’ve been sweating Transistor since it was revealed last year. So tasty. So pretty. (Tasty?) And a good goddamn, I had no fucking clue it was dropping so soon. But it is, but it is. The son of a bitch shall be arriving on the PS4 next month.
Microsoft considering “OFFICIAL 360 EMULATION’ for XB1.
C’mon, Microsoft. Get this fucking done and I’ll love you. I’m tired of juggling all my fucking consoles, AV ports, and jackin’-off socks. Make my life easier. Let me play my 360 games on my XB1. Please? Truthfully — I’d dig this way more than PlayStation Now! or whatever. I don’t want to have to pay to play fucking games I already own on my PS3. (Assuming this official emulation is free, granted, whatever, get off my cock.)
