#May2014
Oculus Rift is coming to Chuck E. Cheese. Oh word?
Chuck E. Cheese is getting on the fucking Oculus Rift wagon. But at this point, who the fuck isn’t? The company is going to use The Technology of the moment to create a virtual ticket blaster. Though for a kid’s place that amusement seems ill named.
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Report: YOUTUBE buyin’ TWITCH for $1 Billion Smackers
Good god damn! YouTube is acquiring Twitch, the popular-as-fuck streaming gaming video watching service. Thing. Like, yeah. Where you watch the ass-lords try to be entertaining while playing World of Warcraft or inFamous: Second Son or whatever.
Rumor: REMASTERED ‘HALO’ COLLECTION dropping on XB1 THIS YEAR
HEY KIDS! Bummed out that Halo 5: Guardians of the Galaxy ain’t dropping until 2015? Me too! Are you also a consumerist whore like me, who will buy visually improved editions of games you already own? THEN I MAY HAVE A FUCKING SALVE FOR YOU.
‘HALO 5: GUARDIANS’ dropping on XB1 IN Fall 2015.
Looks like we’re all going to have wait until 2015 for that killer game for the XB1. (Unless you’re not down with Halo, in which case you probably don’t own an XB1 anyways.) Yup-yupyup-yupyupyup, the next installment in the franchise is dropping then.
‘FAR CRY 4’ dropping THIS NOVEMBER.
Fuck yeah! Far Cry 4 is coming this November. And while it’ll certainly lead to weight gain, neglect of my students, and dementia, I cannot wait for this fucking game.
KINECT-FREE Xbox One coming in June. THE ROLLBACK CONTINUES.
YEAH, MICROSOFT! Roll that shit back! Is there anything left for Microsoft to double-back on at this point? Policy-wise? I don’t think so, and I think that’s fucking fantastic. I also don’t give a damn about the reasons (I imagine it’s monetary duh or something) behind their policies shift. Giving us what we want? Cool.
New ‘UNREAL TOURNAMENT’ is coming! Will be free! Developed with fans!
The gaming world is a weird one these days. Huge creators leaving their Triple A nests by the dozen. Virtual Reality headsets offering promises of glorious tentacle-gape (to me) and billion-person MMOs. A famous franchise like Unreal Tournament being revived. For free! As a fan collaboration.
‘DESTINY’ cost Activision $500 MILLI. HALF A F**KIN BILLION
Yeah, so. Like. Activision is-spending-will-spend-has-spent fucking $500 million on Destiny? Good luck with that, guys. Like, I’m buying the game. I know a lot of people who are buying the game. But recouping that sort of cheddar? Uhhh. Here’s looking at the long game, it seems.
THE FUTURE: EA nearing deal to STREAM GAMES TO COMCAST TVS
Fuck ya’ll! And fuck ya’ll gaming consoles! That’s what Electronic Arts and Comcast are saying, as they near a deal to stream EA games. It’s the Future, yo. It’s getting weird. And I’m liking it.
Wait: WARREN ELLIS’ ‘GUN MACHINE’ TV SHOW is coming to XBOX Original Programming
Lost in the fucking kerfuffle yesterday surrounding Microsoft’s original Xbox TV content was some significant fucking news. I’ll take responsibility for this. My eyes begin to glaze amidst the hyperbolic blathering of Corporate Talking-Ghouls. But fuck, man! If this ain’t a reason for me to take the Xbox offering seriously, nothing will be. (That’s actually my own hyperbole, but I’m really excited.)
