#July2014
Nintendo posts $97 Milli loss last quarter. Luigi gives console market the Death Stare
I’ll cop to it. I didn’t buy a Wii U when Mario Kart 8 came out. So I hold myself personally responsible for Nintendo’s ass-sucking financial quarter. I mean — surely I must lead by example, right? I gotta get on this.
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‘Borderlands’ Creators Reveal New IP ‘Battleborn’ Plus Trailer!
The minds behind My Favorite Franchise Of The Last Gen (Maybe, Maybe Not, Whatever) have revealed their next game. And like we all knew ahead of time, it ain’t Borderlands 3. The joint is called Battleborn and it’s been labeled a “hero-shooter.” While I’m sure I will enjoy this game to an extent, a) I don’t really know what the fuck hero-shooter means, b) the art design ain’t my speed, and c) I want Borderlands 3. None the less, I trust the group to deliver compelling gameplay. And ain’t that what this shit is all about? What do you all make of this?
Cliff (DUDE F**KING HUGE) Bleszinski is making games again!
Dude Huge is back. The Czar of Hardcore Dorkey Masquerading As Really Cool Bro Nation is returning to the arena. That arena being gaming. And I couldn’t be happier. The world is Less without the Guiding Hand of phalliodestruction blitzkrieg joystick manipulation.
‘FINAL FANTASY’ creator Hironobu Sakaguchi to reveal NEW PROJECT next week
Hironobu Sakaguchi is getting ready to drop his project on the Gaming World’s Collective Ass. What is this drop going to look like? I imagine a well-lathered, completely tanned elbow drop from the proverbial top rope. In other words, I have no idea and my imagination is running wild.
Microsoft store: ‘BATMAN: ARKHAM KNIGHT’ dropping in Feb of 2015
*Gurgling disappointment bile* Well, it seems that Batman: He’s Totally Not Hush? won’t be coming out in January like Kevin Conroy said. Conroy. You sexy fuck. You filthy liar. Instead the jam will be dropping in February, if you believe a Microsoft store listing.
‘Catlateral Damage’ becoming a full game. Amazing.
Somehow I missed out on Catlateral Damage earlier this year as it was pawing around (HA, fuck you) the Internet as a demo. But now the son of a bitch is becoming a full game, and you can bet your ass I’m onboard.
‘BATMAN: ARKHAM KNIGHT’ Drops In January, according to Voice of Batman
I’m still mopping up the fluids and chunks of colon after the Batman: Arkham Knight-induced fanboy prostate explosion last week. So when I say I have to tread lightly on this news that the game is dropping in January, it’s only because I don’t want to pull a stitch.
Watch: ‘DREADNOUGHT’ is the Battlestar game we want
I just recently finished Spec Ops: The Line, and found myself wondering what the fuck the team behind it was up to. It was a solid game, with a better-than-average story for a third-person shooter. Well, well, well. It turns out those fuckers are working on a goddamn space-ship game. Replete with giant fucking battles, and giant fucking space-ships. Dreadnoughts, even.
Sony Cackles: A third of PS4 owners were X360 or Wii owners last gen
Sony ain’t shying away from bragging about their so-far dominance of this current generation. Dropping a hurricanrana factoid like this. Apparently 1/3 of the PS4 install base was an Xbox or NintendoWiWi owner in their previous console-generation-iteration, and didn’t own a PS4.
‘JOURNEY’ composer may get fined $50,000 for working on video games
Ah, the SYSTEM.It’s everywhere. Telling me I can’t go balls-out in McDonald’s. Making shit really complicated for directors in Hollywood. And also apparently fucking strong-arming composers such as Austin Wintory. Ya’ll know him from his work on Journey. Or you’re ignorant. Either way. (I’m ignorant as fuck too, so rest assured you’re in terrible company.)
