#August2013
PLAYSTATION 4 RELEASE DATE ANNOUNCED: NOV. 15 LIKE WUT.
It’s been dated! The arrival of the PlayStation Computing Station-Fourth! Begin pinching your pennies and hocking your seminal fluids and other reproductive goods. You have until the middle of this November.
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‘TITANFALL’ GAMEPLAY TRAILER: The reason I’ll buy an Xbox One
Respawn Entertainment’s Xbox One exclusive has gotten itself a gameplay trailer, and my goodness. I’m not one to lean on hyperbole for descriptiveness (heh), but watching this trailer literally compelled my dong-tip to burst forth off the shaft. It fluttered about the room, running up the corners of the walls in a hysteria. After finally exhausting itself of its unexplained kinetic energy, it fell listlessly into the aquarium. Where the angelfish ate it.
Rumor: EVERY XBOX ONE in Europe coming with a copy of ‘FIFA 14’ free.
I don’t know the non-American football well. At all. However, I do know that them fuckers in Europe are bonkers for it. In fact, isn’t FIFA like the top selling franchise? So the fact that the XBONE is going to come with a free copy seems pretty fucking impressive to me. Like if they dropped the console in America packaged with Call of Battlefield: Modern Ops and a twelve-pack of Dew.
Sony dropping PLAYSTATION 4 release plans on August 20. TELL ME.
Dear Sony: I have you all prepped to take my money. The PS4 has been pre-purchased on Amazon. My frothing desire mounts. Now just tell me when the fucking console is dropping.
Cliff Bleszinski continues TEASING NEW IP.
Just what the fuck is Dude Huge making here? Cliffy B has continued teasing a new IP, and frankly judging from the images dropped I have nary a clue as to the genre of the title.
‘DRAGON AGE: INQUISITION’ bringing back CHARACTER RACES. G’damn right.
Dragon Age: Let’s Try This A Third Time is bringing back a much missed component for its third entry. Motherfucking character creation! Hell yes! How the Hell can I build my totem in the toilet out of love, blood, and muck to my character, when I can’t even design my character? Are we playing roles or what?
‘GRAND THEFT AUTO’ ONLINE TRAILER: Persistent Larceny!
Oh boy. Strike that previous complaint of mine about GTO being nothing special. Grand Theft Auto Online is a separate game. It’s just going to be free to those who buy Grand Theft Auto V. Launching a couple weeks after the release of GTAV (it’ll drop October 1), the game assuredly going to destroy lives and ruin relationships.
The berries, man.
Hit the jump for the trailer.
XBOX ONE ‘SEASON PASS GUARANTEES’ carries DLC ACROSS GENS. Dope ++
This is froggy fresh. One of the interesting things about this Fall is that titles are dropping across multiple generations. What if I buy Call of Duty: It’s A Doggy Dog Life on my 360, but then I snag an XBONE for Christmas? What will happen to all those wonderful maps I snagged? Microsoft? They’re actually doing me a fucking solid.
Blizzard teases ‘DIABLO 3’ expansion called ‘REAPER OF SOULS.’ Aiight.
Dear friend. Were you like me? Marginally let down by Diablo 3? If so – – what would it take for you to give the game another try courtesy of its new expansion? Me? It’s a Blizzard product with the name Diablo stamped on it. Given my childhood, I am almost legally bound to partake.
Rumor: PLAYSTATION 4 dropping OCTOBER 21. MY BODY IS READY. (My wallet? Eh.)
Ever since I signed a contract with the guy behind the 7-Eleven who promised me a launch PS4 in dick blood and tears, I’ve wondered to myself. Namely, what the fuck am I doing with my life? How did he know I’d be so happy to scab my cock head just for a gaming console? Oh! And also when the fucking jam was going to breach shelves.
Well, it looks like we may have an answer.
