#March2014
New batch of ‘INFAMOUS: SECOND SON’ screens for UR NEXT-GEN GUTS
I’m pretty gnarlstokedjacked for inFamous: Beanie Douchebag Gear. Despite my utter disdain for the protagonist’s appearance, the game appears to let you rock out in an unfathomably gorgeous world with some tasty superhero powers. There’s a new batch of screens for the game that have dropped, and they’re only further tempting me to drop. Drop trou.
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SEINFELD x OCULUS RIFT = This VR Is Making Me Thirsty?
The Oculus Rift has been employed to explore all sorts places, things. You can get your head off! You can fly! You can…explore Seinfeld’s apartment! Sit down on the coach and make somewhat banal but amsing observations while the laugh track lulls you to sleep. Seriously though: sort of neat.
‘UNCHARTED’ creative director AMY HENNIG leaves Naughty Dog. Perhaps pushed out. #BackroomDealings
The main brain-piece behind the Uncharted franchise has peaced the fuck out of Naughty Dog. Amid reports that the minds behind The Last of Us did some squeezing of her out, Sony has confirmed the departure today. I’m really hoping that this doesn’t impact the quality of the next Uncharted, but if she’s being squeezed out, it ain’t by fools of lesser capabilities. Maybe? #GamingBackRoomPolitics
PS4 sales have passed SIX MILLION UNITS across the globe. Dolla Dolla Something?
The PS4 doesn’t seem to have any lack of selling power. After dropping in Japan, the son of a bitch 370,000 systems in its native country in just over a week. With those numbers ingested into the enormo-corpus of the PS4 Leviathan, sales have now broken the six-million mark.
‘GOAT SIMULATOR’ SMASHING ONTO STEAM APRIL FOOL’S DAY. Get On Goat’s Level
Goats are pieces of shit. Unrepentant, spitting, biting dickheads who occasionally rip up the Internet by yelling in a manner eerily similar to humans. Good news, though. Thanks to Coffee Stain Studios, we’re going to be able to engage in such piece of shit behaviors ourselves come April Fool’s Day. Or as it shall be known henceforth, Douchebag Goat Day.
‘BATMAN: ARKHAM KNIGHT’ TRAILER: GOTHAM BURNS AGAIN
Well, isn’t this day progressing quickly. From leaked info, to reveal, to an official trailer. Happy Batman: Arkham Fucking Knight day! Seriously though, my take from the trailer, and sort of the movies: Batman pretty much never fixes anything. Oh sure he’s throwing haymakers and beating ass, but it’s because yet again his fucking city is burning.
Can’t wait, though!
‘BATMAN: ARKHAM KNIGHT’ ANNOUNCED. Spandex Stiffy.
The next Bat-Guy game has been released, and glory be the Masterminds behind the first two titles have returned. Rocksteady Games will be rocking (ha! fuck me and my shit puns!) out on Batman: Arkham Knight.
BioWare has discussed ‘MASS EFFECT’ remastered editions for the next-gens. I’M SPRUNG.
BioWare! Just fucking take my money! Take my money. Release these remastered editions. Watch me lap at your feet like the little classless, begging Mass Effect trollop that I am.
WATCH: ‘TITANFALL’ AD proves LIFE IS BETTER WITH A MECH
Titanfall. Next week! Next fucking week! Here’s a somewhat amusing advert that underscores something objectively true. Life is just better when you’re rolling through it with a mech.
New Rocksteady-powered ‘BATMAN’ GAME being revealed next week?
I love me some Rocksteady Studios-powered Batman. Which is why when they weren’t responsible for last year’s Arkham: Mandatory Joker Appearance, I abstained. However it appears that those fuckers used the padded time acquired from handing off last year’s iteration to a new team to polish their own Batty-Man title.
