Well fuck me sideways! Game of Thrones has a return date. This means I’m going to have to finally conjure the fortitude to watch the last three episodes of season three. I mean — I read the book. But that ain’t having read ain’t the same as having seen The Red. You know?

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2013 is no more.  The New Year’s Day hangover has worn off, the world keeps turning, and the universe cares not how we mark the time.  Nevertheless, we are here to reminisce, and the past year for me was pretty good, I gotta say.  I’d describe it in detail, but I’m saving this shit for my autobiography.  I can’t spoil the goods now, ya know?  Let’s just say it was epic.  Like “ripping Conan the Cimmerian from fictionspace, injecting him with bath salts and letting him loose during a live taping of Big Bang Theory” kinda epic.

What I can divulge to you all is the stuff that I really loved about the pop culture of 2013, and there was a lot to love, to be honest.  Television has never been more bountiful, comic books had a banner year, and I bought more music in 2013 than I have in quite some time.

So, without further ado, and because I’m a goddamned list-maker/lover at heart, here’s some of my favorite stuff from the past 365.

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Hey man, whatever. The reservoir of “Winter Is Coming” jokes dried up a long, long, long time ago. None the less, Telltale Games is making an episodic game series based off of Dragons and Incest.

Hit the jump for the teaser trailer.

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Don’t let the jolly belly and the beard fool you. George R.R. Martin is one cold blooded motherfucker. Here is every single death from his A Song of Ice and Fire (it isn’t Game of Thrones, you illiterate swine!) tabbed. Two-hundred and eighty-four fallen souls. Shout out to I Heart Chaos for the find.

This is one Sith you don’t want to mess with. Oh Darth Maul had like, a zillion horns? That’s cute. I’d much rather take on that ballerina dumb ass than this fearsome warrior.

Hit the jump for the full picture.

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Rob Liefeld is clearly the voice of our hyper-reality generation. He accomplishes feat after feat of brilliance and wizardry, and this may be his finest. Homeboy is dropping a deuce while singing the Game of Thrones song. Or at least sitting on the toilet.

Just embrace the madness.

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Hello, friends. This is Monday Morning Commute. Within these walls, we share the various functions and safety valves we’re utilizing to get us through the daily week. Not only that, it is a post used as a general “this is what’s up in my world” sort of bullshit community building exercise. I hope you’re all well.

Let’s party.

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Astute viewers knew something was wrong when the wedding musicians started playing the Lannister song of war and battle, ‘The Rains of Castamere’.

I remember feeling physically ill for an hour after reading the chapter in George R. R. Martin’s ‘A Storm of Swords’ that corresponded to the end of tonight’s episode.

The interesting conversation is: what happens now? What’s become of the North? The Starks are dead or scattered all across the world. Winterfell is in ruins. Where are all of Robb’s generals, like the Blackfish, and the groom himself, Edmure Tully?

The still-more interesting conversation: will viewers be encouraged enough to hang on, persist, and see this story through? Many people I know felt completely gutted after this chapter years ago, and the ones I saw watching tonight seemed doubly so – it’s quite something to see these events play out visually.

How do you hang on when the good guys get torn apart so viciously, so brazenly?

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The thing about Days of Future Past is that the production features roughly three-thousand actors. It’s massive like wut, like wut. So forgive me if I have forgotten that The King of Tits and Wine will be up in this movie as well. We have gotten a look at the aforementioned King, and he is rocking quite the impressive mustache. Sleazy, bitty-boning mustache.

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Game of Thrones has itself an end date. Some Producer Person from the show has proclaimed that the pop culture favorite about pieces of shit being pieces of shit over an ass-chaffing chair will run no longer than seven seasons.

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