Now that George Lucas has abdicated the Star Wars throne, I suppose some hero from my childhood had to pick up his ritual of shitting directly into the heart valves of my adolescent soul. Fuck.  Clerks is one of my favorite movies of all time, Clerks 2 is a sore on my testicles that keeps oozing, and a final flick (while I will see it because I’m a sucker) makes me barf little balls of agony into my tits hair.

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I go down for a nap, and I wake up in this world. I’m not certain I haven’t slid through dimensions. Who are you fucking people? No serious, what the fuck? This is surreal. I’ve always said it: theStar Wars universe rules. I’ve said it to countless people across two conventions. If Disney can field a talented bunch for Episode 7 (and provided it is happening), this could be tremendous. Or it could be another dry, spiked dog dick penetrating my childhood without consent.

What’s your take?

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I don’t like Bryan Singer. I don’t like his X-Men movies. Now the dude may be taking over for Matthew Vaughn, who has probably left X-Men: First Class 2 to direct some Mark Millar shit-bomb. I am unhappy with all of this! All of it!

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Summer 2012 has blown through the nerd universe with a thunderous fury, and OL rode the wave to its first major convention appearance.  We rocked FanExpo Canada in Toronto, home of yours truly, and generated some fantastic buzz on the show floor.

The essential blow-by-blow follows.  Brace yourselves.

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A good friend and Discipline of the Infinite Click let me play the Diablo III beta last week. It was Diablo, but prettier. I was instantly in love-lost-dick-groaning. It felt so ready! Maybe I was delusional, cause Blizzard is now gutting a lot of the core systems.

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