#April2013
‘FAR CRY 3: BLOOD DRAGON’ is the 80’s SCI-FI METAL VOMIT you need.
Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon is everything a science-fiction heavy metal asshole like myself wants in life. It appears to be all of the Far Cry 3 that blew my asshole out, wrapped around a delicious sci-fi 1980s motif. If this is some sort of April Fool’s joke, someone is getting punched right in the fucking neck. We’re talking crushed something-suches in their spinal column and shit.
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‘FALLOUT’ VAULT 101 sneakers and hoodie are gorgeous. Get in my soul.
Check out these beautiful Vault 101 sneakers, complimented by a sexy-sexy Vault 101 hoodie. Now, we all know that I cannot find these sneakers for my behemoth feet. That much is a given. However, there may be hope for me yet. I’ll be goddamn if I cannot purchase the hoodie, and drape it across my hairy gamer shoulders.
‘VERONICA MARS’ MOVIE gets Kickstarted! Already passed its goal. Boom! Dynamite!
Man. I fucking needed this today. The local sports team lost one of its biggest players. Summer unemployment is looming. Google Reader is dying. Talk about stabbing my rot-gut. It appears I am not to fully despair, however. The Veronica Mars movie lives. Lives damn well. Today, series creator Rob Thomas and star Kristen Bell launched a Kickstarter to fund the son of a bitch, and ten hours later the goal had been surpassed. Well done, my friends.
This console is FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER, plays NES, SNES, Genesis. With HDMI.
As someone who has been itching to play through his old ass gaming collection lately, this console is fucking perfect. Sure, I could use an emulator, but I want to use the original controllers. On a television. So fuck yes, give me this ghastly blight on gaming creation. I need it.
Snap! BUTCHER BILLY’S latest mash-up has Green Goblin going BIN LADEN
Butcher Billy don’t give no fucks! Despite us writhing in exhaustion at his fantastic pop-culture mash-ups, the dude continues onward. This time the artist has hung a bit of a political bent on our asses, mashing up nefarious bastards of the political world with some of the biggest baddies of the comic world. The result? Typical awesomeness.
‘FALLOUT 4’ teased by Three Dog’s voice actor. WASTELAND GET.
Just today! Just today, I was wondering when the fuck I was going to get to wander the Wasteland yet again. I slathered petroleum jelly on my bits as I contemplated, rubbing over the idea of playing a Fallout title running on the Skyrim engine. My supplication must have been heard by Them, for this very same today comes a tease. Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
‘MAN OF STEEL’ TRAILER #2: Bearded Kal-El and ridiculous visuals.
No lie: I just watched this trailer at work on a computer with no sound, and the effort still managed to give me goosebumps. Visually ridiculous, tonally serious. I am so, so stoked.
Cosplay: WORLD WAR II Wonder Woman got them war bonds growing. Terrible pun ++
Jessica Lynn is back with more glory as a World War II rendition of Wonder Woman. Bounce to this!
Final ‘KILLING THEM SOFTLY’ Trailer: Shotgun therapy for all!
The marketing for this flick is letting it down. I know this before a commercial for it dropped last night during the Patriots’ assassination of the Jets and none of my friends knew anything about the movie. After watching it, they were intrigued, which lets me know there are legions of potentially-interested folk with no idea Killing Them Softly exists. Me? I got a fat chubby for the film. A chubby so tremendous it can only be relieved by mashing my mushroom off my keyboard. It works. But for a moment.
Rumor: ‘EMPIRE STRIKES BACK’ writer Lawrence Kasdan could script ‘EPISODE VIII & IX’?
Star Wars fans, go ahead and tug your bits to this rumor. It’s designed to titillate all your various nerd glands. There ain’t any shame, I promise. Draw the blinds, and get slushy in your pantaloons. Lawrence fucking Kasdan! Oh, and some other guy too.
