HEY GUYS. CAFF HERE. I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO DO AN OPINIONS VARY THIS WEEK. HOWEVER, EDUARDO PLUTO STUBBED HIS FUCKING TOE AND NOW HE’S IN THE ER. I DON’T WANT TO SPEAK TOO SOON, BUT THEY’RE TALKING AMPUTATION. LISTEN. I WASN’T ANTICIPATING WRITING ANYTHING TODAY. THE FIRST THURSDAY OF EVERY MONTH IS THE SWEAT LODGE FOR ME. I BUMP A BUNCH OF DIET PILLS DOWN WITH THIRTEEN DIET MOUNTAIN DEWS, THEN I COMMUNE WITH NATURE. AND THE OMNIVERSE. AND THE SPIRIT-LORDS. NEEDLESS TO SAY I’M TWEAKING A BIT AT THE MOMENT.

ANYWAYS.

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Welcome back, friends. The Starship Omega plummeting through the Cosmos has returned, swerving out of the way of an errant cosmic calamity. We’ve finally regained cruising altitude, and a flesh-bot of your desired gender/gender combination will be along to massage your pinkish naughties soon. My name is Caffeine Powered, and I’m the Custodian and Lead Seminal Slinger aboard this Galaxy Cruise. Right here about this time, as I am ripped to the gills on a cheap Theraflu knockoff and fighting a lengthy head cold, I’m going to pontificate on what I’m enjoying this week. And so are you! That’s the whole gimmick behind this nonsense, Monday Morning Commute. More Theraflu!

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