Ah, Saturdays. Slow days for Omega Level. Thankfully, I have a crew of intrepid spies who work for me overtime. And I was surprised today when I came across an e-mail in my in-box. The title was “Chris Brown’s New Song Confirms He IS A Flesh-Eating Zombie.” Weird, right? And then I heard it, and well…it’s disturbing. Let’s just put it that way. Confused, I sent off an e-mail to Brown’s PR Manager. Yeah, I got the mad connections. I received an e-mail explaining the suspicious new song:

You see, we realize that a lot of sensitive people may be upset about the fact that Chris Brown is a piece of filth. And in order to combat the knowledge that he is a woman-beating, flesh-eating monster, we could only do one thing. Try and make eating people cool.

Well, that explains it. I’m not at liberty to leak the actual .mp3, but I can tell you the title: Lemme Bite Chu. That’s right, Lemme Bite Chu. And I could get in a lot of trouble, but I’m even going to give you the chorus to the song:

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