#February2015
‘Final Fantasy XV’ Town & Gameplay Trailer: Just Bros, Broing
More Final Fantasy XV gameplay. Just some bros, rolling around a city. Fighting baddies. Hanging tight. Staring at low-hanging, easy-peasy fan service boobies together.
‘Final Fantasy XV’ Open World Gameplay Demo: Dino-Exploration
Fuck you, Final Fantasy XV. Don’t you be all “quasi-real” with demos suggesting you are actually going to arrive sometime. ‘Cause I get really excited when you do that. Get hyped with me after the cut.
‘Final Fantasy XV’ TGS Gameplay Demo: The Behemoth Cometh
The first five or so minutes of this “gameplay demo” is pretty fucking boring. But then a wild behemoth appears and you get to see FFXV‘s battle system in action. Which I’m diggin’.
‘Final Fantasy XV’ TGS Trailer: Cool Cars & Big Swords
Final Fantasy XV is weird, man. Got itself some sexy visuals. Some nice music. But it’s certainly a war of disparate parts, and that perhaps could fuckin’ work. Got these Ass Sniffin’ Bros paling around one second, and the next second they’re running headfirst into giant dinosaurs and shit. I wasn’t expecting this much uh, fantasy? in the game, so I’m interested to see how it is all pulled together. Provided, you know, this shit ever actually arrives.
SQUARE ENIX creates ‘FINAL FANTASY COMMITTEE’ to OVERSEE FRANCHISE.
Yeah, that’s what Square Enix needs. More fucking bureaucracy. They’ve created a “Final Fantasy Committee” to oversee the franchise. With the franchise dying a general laughingstock for gamers of my generations, it’s good to see them making an effort. Makes sense. But I’m not sure it is needed. They could just try reading any news story written about them over the last twelve years.
‘FINAL FANTASY 15’ TRAILER: So Slick You’ll Slip and Crack Your Head
Here’s a new trailer for Final Fantasy XV. The first half is the usual pretentious, half-fried nonsense that has come to embody Japanese storytelling in my dumb, thick-headed skull. The second half of the trailer is a parade of gorgeous, hyper-kinectic visuals detailing the combat system.
This is a fair trade to me.
Search Engine Terms: ALISON BRIE x THOR’S HAIR
[Search Engine Terms. Most of ours are ultra depraved and absurd. And amusing to sick people like me.]
Man, these are sort of fun to pay attention to. Welcome! Welcome searchers. Anyone searching for Alison Brie deserves a high-five. I don’t know what the “X” is for. Perhaps Alison Brie X-Treme? And then! Then there is the lovely person searching for Thor’s Hair. My friend, be you of any gender, race, ethnicity, cosmic origin, know this: you are welcome here.
Hit the jump for some of Thor’s hair. And Alison Brie. Ya’ll welcome.
‘FINAL FANTASY XV’ REVEAL TRAILER: Active Time Boner!
I’m running out of headlines, folks. Been blogging for a solid twelve hours now. I’m really enthused for this game. Maybe it’ll let me down. Maybe it won’t. The Diet Pepsi coiling itself around my brain stem tells me not to worry about it. To just take off my pants. Run through the lightly falling rain. Hide in a trash can. Eat banana rinds.
I should listen, right?
‘FINAL FANTASY XV’ rises out of the ashes of ‘FINAL FANTASY XIII: VERSUS: INCOGNITO JAM’, and I’m pumped.
…and just like that, Square has convinced me to give them my heart. Again.
