#March2012
Universal buys the film rights for that Twilight fanfiction-turned-novel. Meanwhile, I weep for the gene pool.
Obviously the fact that some shitty Twilight fanfic was published and became a surprise bestseller means I should polish up all the fanfiction I wrote in high school and make bank.
I’m sure you can guess my feelings on the Twilight franchise; they’re right up there with my feelings on the MPAA. But they don’t come close to my feelings on this piece of shit story (“50 Shades of Grey”) with its atrocious writing. No, seriously, that is an actual excerpt. And just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, Universal and Focus Features bought the film rights.
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Hunger Games fans are racist, and so can you!
I haven’t read The Hunger Games series, but I did see the film on Sunday and very much enjoyed the hell out of it, especially since I didn’t have to yell at anyone for having their cell phones out. I was happy with the direction, the cinematography, the acting, and the casting — especially the casting. I mean, what the fuck did Lenny Kravitz give Satan in return for eternal youth? Dude looks maybe 25. Jennifer Lawrence, the sole shareholder at CP’s spank bank conglomerate, did a fabulous job as Katniss, and Amandla Stenberg made me weep like a little kid with a skinned knee during that scene. Everyone was flailing while we filed out of the theater, so much that I could literally see the exclamation points in people’s sentences. Nothing could harsh my buzz.
Then I saw the racist fuckery happening on Twitter and suddenly remembered the world is full of douchenozzles.
‘Hunger Games’ Gets An ENORMO Batch Of Pics Upside Yo Head
Well then! Here’s an intense amount of promo pics for the Hunger Games. It’s dropping soon! Pumped? Sate that grind temporarily with an absurd amount of views into the movie.
TRAILER: ‘John Dies At The End’ Is Trippin’ Balls
Last week our own Patrick (Rockadoodle) Cooper texted me that he had finished the novel John Dies At The End. He told me it was deec but that he was still excited for the movie. Being an egregious uncultured asshole, I hadn’t heard of the novel or the movie adaptation. I went about correcting this, and I have since watched the trailer way too many times. Surreal and hypnotic, it seems to be tying directly into the part of my brain that loves the game Alan Wake or the novel House of Leaves.
Trailer: ‘Beyond The Black Rainbow’ Is Drugs-Fueled Trippy Mess
I hadn’t heard of Beyond The Black Rainbow, but after watching the trailer I’m convinced it’s going to be a) amazing, b) a mess, c) an amazing mess. Whatever the case, I’m intrigued. Trippy visuals, third eyes, drugs, and more.
New ‘Dark Knight Rises’ Poster Featuring Bane. Back Achingly Good. Get It?!
Hey Bat-friends, want a new poster featuring Bane for The Dark Knight Rises? Hit the jump!
Contagion: A Quiet, Haunting, Sexy Virus Death Commentary.
I’m a sucker for the post-apocalyptic, the thriller, the commentary on society, and gorgeous cinematography. When I saw the first couple of trailers for Contagion I thought to myself that it looked corny, if not a bit enjoyable. When I left the theater tonight after seeing it, I was giving pause and wondering if anything outside of Tree of Life this year had gripped my brain-piece as hard.
