#October2011
Fear Fest: Mutually Assured Destruction, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.
OCTOBER 31st, Mutually Assured Destruction, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.
“War …
War never changes…
Since the dawn of human kind, when our ancestors first discovered the killing path with rock and bone, blood has been spilled in the name of everything, from God, to justice, to simple psychotic rage.”
-Ron Pearlman as the Narrator of Fallout
Here we are. We made it. I’m not going to lie, I fully expected to quit halfway through this thing. Through trials and tribulations, I managed to hang on. So here we go the final fear of Fear Fest.
MAD or Mutually Assured Destruction refers to a scenario in which one super power launches their nuclear stock pile. This creates a chain reaction that causes a retaliatory strike from one or more countries. If this happened between the US and Russia, there would be no need to include any other countries. We’d crack the Earth like an egg.
2 Comments »
Fear Fest: Irrational Fears! Or, That Chair Wants To Kill You.
OCTOBER 30th, Irrational Fears
“I think it would be very foolish not to take the irrational seriously.”
-Jeanette WInterson
Today we’re going to switch gears a bit. For the past month I’ve been picking one fear per day and running with that. Today we’ll quickly look at some irrational fears. I mean like the really weird fears … the kind that make you laugh. The kind of fears that when someone says they have it, you reply incredulously and probably lose a friendship. So, let’s dive right in.
Fear Fest: Demo Dick Marcinko. Makes Jack Bauer His Bitch.
OCTOBER 17th, Dick Marcinko
“Award of 50,000 piasters to anyone who could kill First Lieutenant Demo Dick Marcinko, a grey-faced killer who had brought death and trouble to the Chau Phu Province during the Lunar New Year.”
-Viet Cong Wanted Poster
If you don’t know who Dick Marcinko is, shame on you. All those phony Chuck Norris facts could truthfully apply to this man. Let’s just say that Demo Dick, as he was known, is a true American hero and move on.
There are many things about Marcinko that would qualify him for Fear Fest status. Number one on that list would be that this is the man that started Seal Team 6. I’m sure the rest of the list is still classified, but we might as well toss in there that he was technical advisor on “24”. That’s right, fictional hero Jack Bauer is a cheap knock off of the real thing.
Fear Fest: Needles!
OCTOBER 15th, Needles
“Ah, pierce me 100 times with your needles fine and I will thank you 100 times, Saint Morphine, you who Aeseulapus has made a God.”
-Jules Verne
If you guys are anything like me, you hate pricks. However, there are people out there that are so inherently needles that hey actually faint when they see them. Trypanophobia is the fear of medical procedures, specifically ones that involve injections.
Fear Fest: Germs! Wash Your Hands, Slob.
OCTOBER 11th, Germs
“To perceive things in the germ is intelligence”
-Lao Tzu
Welcome back folks. Yesterday we took a gander at the largest fear in the world, today, in a wonderful, albeit waifishly thin, example of juxtaposition we cover the smallest.
Germs are everywhere. They are on your hands, on your keyboard, on your mouse, everywhere. You’re sitting in a big pile of germs right now. That soda you’re drinking or that bag of chips you’re munching from? You guessed it, germ infested. So what is it about these little microbes that send people into such a frenzy?
Fear Fest: Aquaphobia!
October 10th, Aquaphobia
When you’re drowning, you don’t say ‘I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,’ you just scream.”
-John Lennon
Wow, are we really through one third of the month already? Let us take a moment and look back on the fears we’ve already encountered. They are enough to make a person go mad. However, today we have the largest fear on the planet. Water. Water makes up roughly 70% of the Earth’s surface, and occasionally falls from the sky. Imagine if you were afraid of that? Suddenly your problems don’t seem so big.
Fear Fest: Reptilians!
OCTOBER 7th, Reptilians
“I would not enter in my list of friends, who needlessly sets foot upon a worm. An inadvertent step may crush the snail that crawls at evening in the public path, but he has the humanity, forewarned, will tread aside, and let the reptile live.”
-William Cowper
Hello once again friends, welcome back to fear central. Today’s fear comes from the world of conspiracy theories. If you don’t know about the Reptilian Agenda, you sir (or madam) are behind the times. They’re here, and they have plans.
The Reptilian Agenda is the brain child of a man by the name of David Icke. In short, it involves reptilian shape shifters that live in an underground city and control world events. Sound like a load of shit? Well maybe you need to take a closer look at human history.
‘Star Wars’ Blu-Ray Breaks Records. Oh You Douches.
It’s disheartening to know that for every level-headed dude or dudette I come across here at OL or across the internet, there’s an insane amount of sycophantic Lucas ass-worshippers. I know a good amount of people who swore off buying the the Star Wars Blu-Rays because a) three of the movies were garbage and b) the changes to The Trilogy were unacceptable.
It appears we’re in the minority.
