Meth Damon! Jesus Christ! That scary, dead-eyed motherfucker! He’s seriously going to be considered for a leading role in Episode VII? I mean the kid has chops as long as he’s playing a dead, sociopathic, terrifying fucker. Like, but, a Skywalker?

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Woof! Like five fucking months since we cut the last podcast. Like two weeks since we recorded this new one. Listen, I work with assholes. What do you want with me? That’s neither here nor there. On the podcast: butt play, the console wars, Bateman’s gastric band, Thor, bathroom breaks, Smaug, swearing, caffeine, Star Wars talk (of course) and more.

Let’s fucking do this!

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One of the big questions that arose from Disney continuing the Star Wars cinematic universe was, “Jesus Christ, what is going to become of Star Wars canon?” It sounds like Disney is wondering this same thing. Taking steps to address it going forward. But not yet having the answers.

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2013 was a bit of a benchmark year for me in the realm of my personal life. Over the course of the last twelve months I have: successfully not shit my pants (time left), moved into my first official apartment with my girlfriend (I was squatting in hers), spent hundreds of dollars on caffeinated products, proposed to said girlfriend and begun planning a wedding, played far too many hours of Borderlands 2, stared at far too many asses on Tumblr, taught my first classes (I love it), and hung with the Gang Omega far too little.

The drawback of a boomin’ personal life is that pop culture has flowed through my brain with far too little interaction this year. What I perceive, I half perceive. What I enjoy is fleeting. Worse still, I’ve ventured very little out of my comfort zone. Indie games, comics, movies, and fetish sites have been largely ignored due to want of time.

As a result, my list is a pedestrian collection of my favorites from a very sad little slice of what arrived onto the scene this past calendar year.

Excelsior.

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The Episode VII script was junked. George Lucas caterwauled.  Now Abrams is in the hood, unfucking the script from scratch with Larry Kasdan. No problem, right? It’s just that, you know, the movie is due out in two years.

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Gruff and tumble! Or some shit. Nothing says “Jesus Christ the Episode VII script is fly by night!” much like the fact that we’re seeing the casting calls evolve as said script does.

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This is the most merry of Christmas presents. Or the worst present I’ve ever received, should it suck and blow at the same time. Well, second only to that time my Uncle Jupiter filled a box with his pubes and a rattlesnake. But fuck him and fuck my facial scar.

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You’re tired of my dry-humping Episode VII speculation until the skin leaves my testicles in hardened, red clumps? I don’t know what to tell you. I’m excited about this enterprise. Very excited. Latest batch of news surrounds a Disney casting sheet which suggests the main characters of the next trilogy ain’t Skywalkers or Solos.

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The uber talented star of 12 Years A Slave Chiwetel Ejiofor may turn out to be Force Sensitive. Or Han Solo’s dad. Who the fuck knows. What we do know is  (we don’t know for certain) that the good sir may up for a role in Episode VII.

I’ll take it.

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It appears that Disney is fucking demanding that Episode VII drop in 2015. The franchise has been sold  from a Tyrant to a bloated room of Money Grubbers. This was all known, but I hoped it wouldn’t impact the movies poorly. Others said differently. I suppose my more skeptical friends can take a free shot at my genitals. I will warrant it for now!

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