#May2014
First “EPISODE VII’ photo released as filming begins
YeahokayIknowthisisntreallyafuckingphotofromthemoviepersay. But hey, I’m a Star Wars fanboy, and you’re on my site. I hope that either you’re down with the Force, or can at least accept me despite my flaws. ‘Cause I’m beautiful! And you’re beautiful! And here’s a photo! Acknowledging filming has begun! From Bad Robot’s Twitter.
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‘STAR WARS: EPISODE VII’ TITLE REVEALED. MAYBE.
The working title for Star Wars: Episode VII may have been revealed. It may not have been. This is the Internet. Where everybody’s opinion doesn’t count, and no one is held accountable! Let’s play the game!
‘EPISODE VII’ CAST ANNOUNCED. MY NIPPLES HURT WITH GLEE.
Oh baby, my nipples are hurting. Nay. My nipples are leaking from excitement. The Episode VII cast has finally been announced, and it is stocked with a cavalcade of oldies and newbies that get me taut in all the applicable places.
‘EPISODE VII’ News: Oscar Isaac up for major role. Plus Ford has “gigantic” role. Uh?
Shit, I’ll level with you. Probably none of this is actually news. First up. Oscar Isaac is up for a “major role”, if theater commitments can be accommodated. Second up. Harrison Ford has a “gigantic role” in Episode VII. Yup –you’ve read that right. In the blackout that surrounds Episode VII, mentioning that HAN FUCKING SOLO has a BIG ROLE is news. Am I perpetuating it? Aye.
‘STAR WARS’ RUMOR: BOBA FETT MOVIE is like CONFUSING DISNEY EXECS
So you know how Disney and LucasFilmFarm are supposed to be making all sorts of Star Wars spin-off flicks? And how one is like, supposed to totally obviously be a Boba Fett movie? Well the executives in the Mega-Mind-Monoculture Factory are totally scratching their heads trying to figure out how to pull the Fett movie off.
‘EPISODE VII’ News: Budget, Lucas’ Involvement, and Casting
Well shit if I’m going to pretend to be updating this site again I might as well do it with run-on sentences and Star Wars updates right am I right yes no right? Here we got ourselves some news about the budget the cast and George Lucas’ fat-necked involvement.
‘EPISODE VII’ News: UK Stage Actress Up For Role
Here’s some gnarly news. The promise that Episode VII will see some new faces in key roles hasn’t been confirmed or denied because…well, no fucking casting has been announced! But! Recent rumor-news-nebulous-things suggest this promise shall hold.
No Duh: PETER MAYHEW returning as CHEWBACCA in ‘EPISODE VII.’
I thought we had confirmed this shit like last week, but alas — no. I mean I’m not saying I’m jumping on the news bandwagon today but…that’s exactly what I’m doing.
‘EPISODE VII’ News: It’s f**king SHOOTING NOW; casting ain’t complete.
Well here’s a little news to get my minuscule lightsaber dropping with residual Force leaks. (Or something. Man, I’m played out with my already dumb lightsaber-as cock-metaphors.) Turns out that Episode VII is already shooting, despite the fucking casting not being done. My assumption? Filming locations for action sequences or some shit.
‘EPISODE VII’ NEWS: First shooting in MOROCCO. On MAY 14.
So like, Episode VII is going to begin filming in five fucking weeks. And yet!, and yet friends. We still don’t know anything about the goddamn flick. No official casting, no subtitle, no idea whether or not Carrie Fisher is going to be hanging rack in her original Leia outfit. But I guess we can at least sate ourselves on where and when filming will begin.
