[Remember That Time On LOST is a daily post running the entire month up until the season premiere of LOST on February 2nd. I’m going to just pick something awesome, noteworthy, or ludicrous about LOST when I wake up that morning, and hopefully get you geeks talking about it with me.]

LOST is a perpetually unfolding storyline, filled with constantly shifting lanes of purpose and never-ending chasms of mystery. Yeah, suck on that fucking epic sentence! Oh my god! There are certain moments when the entire show tilts on its axis, veering towards something you never fucking saw coming. And you have to give it up to the writers for continuously having the forceful and ripened genitalia to introduce these paradigm shifts into the show even deep into its run. And don’t pretend you didn’t shit your pants the first time you heard the phrase,

What lies in the shadow of the statue?

The first time you hear it, the dude we know know as Bram, but who for months I could only remember as The Chubby Guy Who Asked That Question, has shoved Miles into his van. Have you ever wanted to get shoved into a van by a bunch of cloak-and-dagger motherfuckers? I have. If you get shoved into a moving van while guys scream shit like “C’MON, C’MON GO-GO-GO!”, you’re probably a bad ass.

So Miles does what anyone would do in that case, he’s really fucking confused, and has no idea what they’re talking about. Chubby Guy turns down Miles’ request for mad money-money, and tells him he’s playing for the wrong team. They then kick Miles out and speed off. Because that’s the second part of getting thrown into a speeding van, you’re then shoved out and left to wonder what the fuck is going on.

And once again, I’m like, what the fuck is going on with this show! All of a sudden there are clandestine teams and shit? Who is the Chubby Guy rolling with? And what the fuck is laying in the shadow of the statue? I mean, the statue itself was pretty obvious. It was Taweret, that enormous fucking thing formerly known as The Four Toed Statue after it was reduced to rubble.

But Jesus Christ, once the question is asked, the show tumbles further down the rabbit hole. Or perhaps closer to its true premise, of which I still have no god damn idea. What lies in the shadow of the statue, and what team does Bram consider himself to be working for? There’s countless factions in the show, be it Jacob versus Facob, Locke versus Ben, Locke versus Jack, Charlie versus Heroin, Ben versus Widmore.

If Miles was working for Widmore, and Widmore is against Ben, does that mean that Bram is allied with Ben? Or does it go beyond that, and it deals with Jacob and Facob, and it has been Facob pulling both Widmore and Ben’s strings? I think I’m going to vomit confusion onto the ground and then dance in it.

Just how far does this rabbit hole plummet? Anyone?

My guess? Bram and Ilana and their b-boy posse are rolling with Jacob. Consider this. Ilana recognizes Jacob when he comes to visit her when she’s all blown up and shit. Jacob straight chills in the foot of the statue. And Richard Alpert, who has forever been known as Jacob’s right-hand man is the only man to answer Ilana’s question correctly.

What lies in the shadow of the statue?

Ille qui nos omnes servabit.

Lostpedia provides “He who will protect/save us all” as the translation, but also goes on to elaborate:

Via Lostpedia:

More accurate translations might be either, “That man who will save us all,” or, “That which will save us all,” if the noun in question is of the masculine gender. The Latin word ille does not necessarily refer to a person.

Alright, so I suppose it’s safe to assume that it is in reference to Jacob. But do you think that answers anything? Of course not. What is Jacob going to save them from? Or who is Jacob going to save them from? And are Jacob’s intentions truly pure, or are they merely aligned with him and buy into his propaganda. Who the fuck knows!

But once the whole “What lies in the shadow of the statue” bullshit is introduced, the game got a lot more complex. We’ve gone from a plane crash to two warring deities? Holy good god this is like Spanish Fly for nerds. Just thinking about it makes me gooey in all the wrong (right) areas.