#September2013
ELLEN PAGE would love a JOSS WHEDON directed KITTY PRIDE MOVIE. Oh to think.
This is never going to happen, folks. It ain’t. Joss Whedon runs the Marvel Movie Cinematic Universe Place, Ellen Page is tethered to Fox’s blathering attempt at turning the X-Men franchise into the same thing. But man. Can you imagine this?
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‘X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST’ SYNOPSIS: NOTHING MAKES F**KING SENSE
The official synopsis for X-Men: Days of Future Past has dropped, and none of it makes very much sense to me. I’m glad (in that ironic, sarcastic, miserable sort of way) to see that all my fucking fears about the movie have been confirmed in this pile of gibberish.
ELLEN PAGE sort of NOT OKAY about ‘LAST OF US’ protagonist being essentially her twin.
You couldn’t be blamed if you mistook one of Last of Us’ protagonists for Ellen Page. ‘Cause, you know. Naughty Dog essentially copied Page’s exact look, voice, and mannerisms for the character. How is Ellen Page handling this identity ganking? Eh, pretty decent. But she ain’t happy.
FIRST LOOK: ELLEN PAGE in ‘X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST.’ Aiight.
Yeahokaymaybe I’m a little excited about the idea of Ellen Page being in the new X-Folk movie. I know it’s totally incongruent with my general vitriol towards the movie but I never signed up to be consistent.
An American in Canada: Heart in Halifax!
[In an attempt to expand his insular perspective, Rendar Frankenstein became An American in Canada! Join Rendar as he tells of the wonders encountered while traveling through North America’s most jovial nation. It’s one-third travel guide and three-fourths misguided interpretation!]
For those of you with a shaky understanding of Canada’s geography, Yarmouth is on the very tip of the Nova Scotian peninsula. Consequently, getting there from Boston by car means driving through Maine and New Brunswick, and then traversing the entire province of Nova Scotia. Not wanting to push my luck, I decided I’d stop for the night and pick up the journey the next day.
Thus, this episode is archived under the title Mr. Frankenstein Goes to Halifax!
Super: A Colorful, Violently Perverted Joy
Super, the latest from Slither director James Gunn, takes the superhero movie and splits its forehead open with a wrench. I went in expecting graphic violence and overall campiness, but Gunn takes you to the edge, lets you dangle, then shoves you off while he laughs and downs a Red Bull. He’s not trying to cater to his audience, or any audience for that matter. Several times throughout he lulls you into a great rhythm of “okay, this is what the movie is going to be like,” then he throws some dynamite in the works and sidles off.
Rainn Wilson plays Frank, a dumpy short-order cook who is somehow married to the gorgeous Sarah (Liv Tyler). He holds on to the two perfect moments in his life dearly: his wedding and when he helped a cop catch a purse snatcher. Unlike that dweeb from Kick Ass, it’s actually easy to believe that Frank is a real loser who thinks becoming a superhero is perfectly rational. He’s given this heroic impulse after Sarah leaves him for drug/strip club proprietor Kevin Bacon. And after the hand of God literally touches him. Seriously, that scene is incredible.
