#September2016
Weekend Open Bar: A Fury’d Mess
Weekend’s half over, and I’m just opening the bar. C’est la vie of a loser blogger with a moderately busy life and a poor sense of discipline. Crazy week. First week of the semester. No gentle ascent into the warm, welcoming arms of academic banality. No ma’am. No sir. Instead. Picture it. A rocket-ship. My ass gently dolloped onto the top of said rocket-ship. Instead. Picture it. Said rocket-ship rocketing into the atmosphere, my poor, sad flaccid dong-dong burning up. My hair a fury’d mess. My nipples chaffing under the duress of embracing former-Earth, my throat. Oh, my throat! A bloodied, shredded mess as I howl at the enormity of the next fifteen weeks, laugh at my general enjoyment of this madness, scream at my own anxiety and depressing encircling my brain-piece with their gnarled claws.
I’m here, though. At the Weekend Open Bar. I’m here though, hoping you’ll join me at said bar. Come hang out. Come tell me what you’re up to throughout this half-over Weekend. What are you eating-playing-reading-drinking-worshipping?
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Weekend Open Bar: You Are Not Alone, [We] Are Not Alone
I’m getting real shit at publishing a weekend column at the start of the weekend. Man! Fuck! But yesterday was busy, hopscotching from work, to dinner with a mentor, to an entire bag of Sour Patch Watermelons, to staring at the IdiotBox for three or so hours. I’m here now, though, and I’m hoping I can lure you in as well! This is Weekend Open Bar, the weekly column where we all hang out.
Thanksgiving Week Commute: Drunk On Turkey and Stuffed With Love
Ah, yeah! It’s Thanksgiving Week! Which means the most glorious span of six weeks or so is kicking off! Holiday season! Days upon days of getting fat, fiddling with candy canes (interpret that as you will), getting fat, drinking with friends, getting fat, playing video games, and this year, seeing TheWarStars Movie over and over again!
Typically we rock a Monday Morning Commute here, but what the fuck. Let’s go nuts. A lot of people are already off, a lot of people are going to be off, and those who aren’t getting any time off are obviously welcome to use this place as a refuge.
Weekend Open Bar: You would *not* believe the deal we got on our digi-afterlife
It’s that glorious time again, comrades. That’s right! That’s correct! That’s precisely it. It’s time to kick-in the doors of the Weekend Open Bar. Flock to our designated *favorite* tables in the musty, dank-ass-air-filled tavern here on the Space-Ship Omega. It’s that glorious time again, comrades. For us to sit around the aforementioned tables, sharing with one another the glory that is the hypothetical weekend. I know some of you have the weekend off. I know that some of you have a long weekend. I know that some of you unfortunately have to work. But whatever your Existent Conditions are here in the OMNIVERSE, I hope you’ll join in the camaraderie.
Weekend Open Bar: Calcified Third-Eyes from the Fluoride Escapades
It’s fucking July 24th! That can only mean one thing! My summer class is done! It’s fucking Friday! That can only mean one thing! I’m done with work for the week! It’s fucking Weekend Open Bar! That can only mean one thing! It’s time to gather in this column with fellow denizens of the Space-Ship OMEGA. Share what you’re doing this weekend!
Monday Morning Commute: [[Console Cowboys | Cero Miedo]]
Welcome to Monday Morning Commute, friends. It’s pretty much the end of the day here on the Eastern Coast of the Empire, but hey. I’m but one FictionMan, attempting to cobble together the disparate entities of the Space-Ship into one meandering husk. So forgive me! And I have to cop to you. A variety of Really Privileged Problems have me a bit worn down, today. Oh, I got married. Boohoo. Oh, I was lucky enough to come back and have to start my job I have immediately. Wah wah. Oh, I’m buying a house and all that financial expenditure is sort of terrifying. Cry more. I get it.
Weekend Open Bar: More Human Than Human!
It’s the fucking weekend! Gather ye rosebuds while ye may! And fucking smoke them! Get lifted, ascend to a new level of Enlightenment! And then waste that Enlightenment on video games, comic books, hikes in the woods, eating too much! Whatever the fuck you want to do this weekend! But so long as you’re smoking them rose buds, crushing them Adult Sodas, and enjoying a break from the work week, hang out here! At the Weekend Open Bar! Anything goes as long as it is in the spirit of celebration. Unless it’s lighting your pubes on fire in the bathroom. We’ve had a spat of that lately (sorry), and we still can’t get the smell out of the pineapple wallpaper.
Tuesday Afternoon Commute: You’re Here Until You’re Not
No one reads this, so why bother? No one posts here, so why both? No one lives forever, so why bother? And I sat in bed with a tirade stuck in my head that not even the medication could medicate out. “How can I UnBe? How can I Not? How can this loosely tethered string of characteristics that is Me stop? Where will I go? What will it feel like?” This is Tuesday afternoon’s edition of what is supposed to be Monday morning’s commute. A column that used to be a place where lovely folk would gather and share their existential happenings. But now it’s a place primarily vacant. Primarily perpetuated by habit. A fading dissociation, the entropic nature of this formerly lively website-blog-collection of-Depraves mimicking the entropic nature of it All. Nothing stays, everything ends, energy can be neither created nor destroyed but it certainly fucking disperse. This is what this anxious, rotting, jittery Meat-Bag is up to this week. Feel free to ignore me, said the Lonely Man to the Empty Hallway.
Weekend Open Bar: SMASH ENNUI
Hey, friends! How are you? You may have noticed I haven’t been rockin’ and rollin’ around here much lately. And I’ve been off! For two days straight! The fuck, Caff?! Let me level with you: I’m sort of fucking exhausted with the Internet. Clickbait, Buzzword, Non-News, Hype-Piece, Funny Video, Buzzword, Clickbait, Release Date. Blah, blah, blah. My interest comes. And my interest goes. Such is the life of a bi-polar. Right now it’s scraping the bottom of the barrel.
Weekend Open Bar: Pretty Much A Big Deal
Oh fuck! It’s Friday! Oh fuck! The semester is over! Which means this is a very special edition of Weekend Open Bar, the column where we come together to chat during the weekend. The column where we share our plans, our eats, our gifs, our drunken musings.
