This is the fucking future I want. Or at least I think I want, gazing into my ceiling fan in the evening. Copy of Neuromancer resting on my belly. A vibrating Matrix-themed prostate massager doing its work in my love hole.

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This week’s pressing questions in gaming are:

Why don’t more women play games? Probably doing something productive whilst I jerk it to polygons.

Why did they delay GTA V and does this somehow relate to rumoured plans for Rockstar to form a Bioshock-esque rogue state?

Just how powerful is the new Playstation going to be and is it going to include the Fleshlight extension that I’ve been petitioning for some months now?

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