I met Kevin Feige once.

It was at a Red Robin, y’know the restaurant with the greasy burgers and tight-lipped waitstaff who don’t care if y’bring a little bourbon to sneak into your milkshake as long as y’don’t tell the manager when y’catch `em bumpin’ lines in the bathroom?

Yeah, that’s right, my favorite restaurant.

Anyways, I was drooling onto my Cajun-fries and preparing to send my boyfriend a breakup text for the fifth time that month — yeah, we were havin’ some serious problems — when I looked up to see the baseball-hat-wearin’-Marvel-Man himself. He was in a booth, a big booth, y’know, with a woman too sexy to be his wife but too classy to be an escort.

I saw this as my chance, so I bolted from my booth, jus’ a little tiny one, y’know, and I practically hopped over the bottle-blonde and sat nearly on Kevin’s lap. I asked if he’d like to hear my pitch for an MCU movie and when he said “No,” well, I knew he was playin’ hard to get. So anyways I launched into my pitch which saw Ben Grimm and Reed Richards livin’ in a post-apocalyptic vision of the Future Foundation’s ruins and they just go about their day doin’ normal apocalypse stuff like foraging for canned goods and stayin’ out of the sun, but without doin’ any superheroic shit. Sue’s dead and Johnny’s dead and eventually we find out that Franklin’s hooked on smack, so some of the movie, maybe even a half-hour, is just Reed cradling his dopesick son while Ben weeps in the corner.

“Real art house shit! Cannes! Sundance! TIFF” I kept shoutin’!

Anyways, I got to meet Kevin Feige and I thought I heard him say that he’d visit me in jail but the officer dragging me away was real rude, y’know, and wouldn’t let me go back into the Red Robin to double-check.

So, I don’t know, maybe’s it’s gonna be launched with Phase 5, but I’m really excited for Doom’s Day. 

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I’d apologize for that, but something tells me you either aren’t offended by my nonsense or you never even check it out.

So what’re we doing now, you ask? Well, we’re diving into the Monday Morning Commute, even though it’s the afternoon!

I’ll show off some of the stuff I’m diggin’ into this week, and you hit up the comments section to do the same! It’s pop culture cross-pollination at its finest!

Huzzah!

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Here’s a steaming batch of Fantastic Four rumors. Emmy Rossum is in the running for Sue Storm. Excellent.  Not only that, but there is another potential female lead in the mix. That of Dr. Doom. Oh the haters are already palpable, but I’m fine with it. Mix up the stagnant mythos I’ve had jammed down my gullet.

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