Mountain Dew is teaming up with Microsoft for a huge push on cheesy products, caffeinated beverages, and the gaming console that is NSA’s data-culling wet dream. It’s a bit of an obvious extension of a collaboration that has been going on for a while now. But this one is going to be HUGE and ENORMOUS and CHEESY.

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Doritos are fucking delicious. Sure, they stink my breath up for a day and a half. As I vomit-burp up the spices out of my carbonated-ravaged esophagus. Sure they’re three-million calories. Sure they cover my fingers in yet another  vile coating of stuff. They’re fantastic. Their creator has died. Let us mourn.

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