#January2015
Disney wants Chris Pratt for ‘Indiana Jones’ movie
Should anyone play Indiana Jones, outside of Harrison Ford? Of course not. Could I see Chris Pratt being a suitable replacement in a world where Ford must be replaced? Yes.
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‘Toy Story 4’ is a thing. Arriving June 2017.
I’m in a fucking bind here, guys. I know deep down in my heart that more Star Wars stories aren’t needed. But I want them. I need them. So when I want to say Toy Story 4 isn’t needed…I can’t. I realize the situation. I realize the Truth. I don’t have a fucking leg to stand on. I get it. So if you’re excited, enjoy this movie. Be merry. I can’t be a hypocrite.
Don’t Tease Me: Disney releasing UNALTERED CUT of original ‘Star Wars’ Trilogy on Blu-Ray
Last weekend at Boston Comic Con, Bateman and myself spent a good amount of time lamenting that there doesn’t exist an unaltered cut of Star Wars. And now it seems (if this website isn’t a big fucking LIAR) that the sensible will become the inevitable. Disney is planning to release an unaltered cut. Praise be. Praise be!
‘Big Hero 6’ Trailer: We Jumped Out A Window!
Man. I know nothing about the Big Hero 6 source material upon which this movie is based. It’s like — Marvel, right? Are there six heroes? The fuck is the number for? Google it, you say? YEAH OKAY KNOW IT ALL. What I do know is that this shit looks adorable as fuck.
Disney buys YouTube network MAKER STUDIOS. THEY WILL ASSIMILATE EVERYTHING.
Okay, Disney. You know even like forty years ago you were called a Bastion of Cultural Imperialism by some. But now you’re just like shrugging and being like “lol, dig this you Socialist fucks.” Just buying, buying, buying up everything in pop culture landscape. ABC, ESPN, Marvel, Star Wars. Now significant YouTube networks? We get it.
‘INCREDIBLES 2’ is coming; Old School Pixar seems officially dead
I’m going to be able to tell my kids something. Drunken off Dew, a tumor the side of a grapefruit lodged in my skull, eyes bulging. I’ll mumble at a howl, “I remember when Pixar made original movies! Good movies! Not fucking sequels! Now fetch me my Oculus Rift! And my meds! Daddy needs to go to the Black Sun and sword fight Hiro Protagonist.”
‘STAR WARS: ATTACK SQUADRONS’ announced. FREE! multiplayer space combat. Oh god.
Oh god. Oh yes. Star Wars: Attack Squadrons has been announced. A free-to-play dogfighting game featuring all of the classic space ships from The Universe. I am sprung. Sprung, I say! Watch out, my lightsaber is igniting! Easy penis-to-saber puns! For everyone! Wee!
Hit the jump for the teaser trailer.
‘EPISODE VII’ Rumor: DISNEY CZARS demanding that FILM RELEASE IN 2015
It appears that Disney is fucking demanding that Episode VII drop in 2015. The franchise has been sold from a Tyrant to a bloated room of Money Grubbers. This was all known, but I hoped it wouldn’t impact the movies poorly. Others said differently. I suppose my more skeptical friends can take a free shot at my genitals. I will warrant it for now!
DISNEY and SONY begin streaming IN-THEATER MOVIES to combat piracy.
In-theater movies could be coming to your house soon! Provided that you live in South Korea. Big provision, I know. Still though, this news is a bit interesting. Sony and Disney are going to begin streaming their own flicks still running at the movies in order to combat piracy. You down?
