Crack open a pint of your preferred Esophageal Lubricant and stay awhile. For many that’s some bougie hard alcohol on the rocks. For others, unrefined and pinned to the Great Wall of Dementia, it’s seventy-three Diet Dews with a splash of Heart Palpitations. Whatever way the arrow of your taste bends, you’re welcome here. ‘Cause this is Weekend Open Bar.

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It’s been a hot minute since we’ve rocked a Weekend Open Bar, but fuck it! As the kids say (said! like two years ago!) #YOLO. It’s been quiet around here, so this is the perfect post to just shoot the breeze. Share your plans for the weekend! Post dumb gifs. Enumerate the various reasons that you’re turned on by the Kool-Aid Man. (Pretty much) anything goes!

I’m tired and cranky and hungry. The pile of work on my desk is increasing at an exponential rate. My gums are bleeding. How’s my breathing? Belabored. All I want to do is lay down for the night and wake up tomorrow. Know what I can’t do until I finish about seven different projects? Lay down for the night and wake up tomorrow.

Goddamn do I hate Mondays.

But I’d be a liar to imply that I don’t have a soft spot for the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE, OL‘s weekly show-and-tell feature. Here’s how it works: I’m going to give you a guided tour of my demented mind, steering you away from the Freudian nightmares and towards the entertainment wet-dreams. After scoping out the monsters lurking in my brain-bone, it’s your duty to hit up the comments section and show off the wares you’ll be using to survive the workweek.

C’mon, you think we’re afraid of the 9-5? You think we can’t survive the daily grind? Bring it on! FLAME ON!

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I’m not missing anything important, am I?