…I can relate, man. Or how about fifteen slices of pizza on a Friday night? Or two pounds of Laffy Taffy while refreshing Tumblr for nine hours on a Saturday evening? None happened this previous weekend, all of happened at one point in my life. This isn’t about shaming, though. It’s about coming together as a bunch of flesh-sacks trying to make it on this Blue Marble. This isn’t about wallowing. It’s about embracing the absurdity, the rot, the excess, the loneliness, the glee, the victory, the defeat.

This is Monday Morning Commute.

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Don’t breath too deep, friends. You see, they’re done with the fluoride in the water. That’s the old tip. They’ve moved on. Now it’s the nanobots. In the air. Infesting our cortex-bits. Prepping us for the ultimate in meta-data. Meta-cognitive data. Don’t breath too deep. Don’t breath at all, if you can help it. Reject the need for oxygen. Has anyone ever really shown you that you need it? If you didn’t believe you did? Eh? Oh — me? Off my meds? What is it to you, buster? Fuck you! No — no. Please come back. Partake in this here column. Monday Morning Commute.

The watering hole where we share the various arts we’re indulging on a given week. While we can. Before they activate nanobots.

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