#November2011
The Flash Is Offering Extreme Piggy-Back Rides. Recession Hits Hard, Brah.
Well shit man, do you have to lube me up with temporal-vaseline so when you hit the Time Barrier you don’t deep fry my soul? ‘Cause I’d pay double for you to do the rubbing.
Via.
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Batman’s Medical Records. Dude Has Seen Some Sh*t.
Everyone’s been going donkey shit about the faux medical records drawn up for Bruce Wayne over at Ordinary Gentleman. For good reason. It’s a meticulous and totally geeky examination at the sort of shit that Bruce Wayne would have gone through if he was, like, real.
Variant Covers: Hulk Smash Puny Pencilers.
In the dismal dusk that accompanies every earlier falling light comes the opportunity to snuggle up with a comic book. Pull the blankets over yourself, dust the Chez-It crumbs off your chest and get your funnies on. As the Earth tilts slightly, ever so slightly, the temperature here on the Eastern seaboard dips. Not even climate change can prevent that. With the dip and the tilt comes the desire to over-analyze panels of Iron Man’s remarkably phallic repulsor rays rocketing off Thor’s chiseled chest. By myself. With you. Don’t matter.
Variant Covers. My pull-list for the week.
Sales Of DC’s ‘New 52’ Titles Slipped Just 6% In October. It’s Working!
DC’s New 52 initiative is bringing the sales in, for themselves and others. Jesus Christ, could this actually be working? How fantastic would that be? The New 52 titles performed well again in October, thrashing their Marvelous competition. Again.
DC Comics Beats Marvel Comics In October Nearly 50% to 30%.
I don’t spit as harsh an invective towards the DC New 52 lately, regardless of what I think of the quality of the tale that pushed the reboot or the titles themselves. Why the change? ‘Cause it’s bolstering the entire market, and good lord if that’s true who am I to complain. At the very least, it’s giving DC a fucking Atomic Leg Drop to blast Marvel with.
Variant Covers: Wolverine’s Drunk And Beast Is Wearing A Red Wig
We’re shortly enclosing on the witching hour, the feast of October. The ephemeral time where the membrane between the expired and the wind-sucking melts before our eyes, unleashing torrents of evil and scares upon us. That ain’t the half of it either, dude. Motherfuckin’ candy up in the bitch and rotten teeth and syringes in the bags of your children. It’s dangerous out there! Stay inside. Read some funny books.
This is Variant Covers. The rags I’m stoked on this week. Share your pull-list after the spiel ends.
Barnes and Noble Replaces DC Stock With 2000 AD Titles By Alan Moore and Others. Warlock Laughter.
Barnes and Noble was totally butt-hurt with DC when they announced their deal with Amazon and the Kindle Fire. They yanked DC comics from the shelves in a resounding dumb move. DC’s loss seems to be 2000 AD’s gain however, as the chain has taken to stocking the shelves with Moore and friends’ works.
Video: The Green Lantern/Robot Chicken Special Will Smoke The Reynolds Atrocity.
Check out a preview of the Robot Chicken/Green Lantern collaboration. It doesn’t seem to make much sense, then you watch it and you’re like…oh this is going to be good. Dang good. I mean, a Green Lantern cock ring? Sold.
Hit the jump to check it out.
Jim Lee Does Spy vs. Spy. Match Made In…Madness?
Does MAD magazine still exist? I used to feign for that shit every time I hit up the Newsstand. Jim Lee’s offered his own take on the classic Spy vs. Spy, and wouldn’t you know it’s as pose-y as ever.
Hit the jump to check it out.
Variant Covers: Thor and Odin Fight For The Hammer-Penis. The Conclusion!
While I’m writing this — assuredly not while you’re reading this — I’m sitting in a desolate café room on campus cranking out this column. Thinking of tomorrow, of comic books, of narrative-image fusion. Momentary escape. Fuck I love the funny books. I love sitting here, a momentary reprieve in a ten-hour day writing about them.
This is Variant Covers.
I’m Caffeine Powered.
These are the books I’m interested in this week.
