#January2011
Variant Covers: If You’re Reborn, Is There Reafter Birth?
Hello good souls, and welcome to Variant Covers. I am your pilot on this trip of stupidity. ‘Tis a trip where I tell you the comic books I’m excited and/or curious about that are coming out tomorrow. Your job, should you choose to partake, is to hit the comments box with your own pull list.
It’s my favorite game: show me yours and I’ll show you mine. The elementary school principal down the street isn’t too cool on it, but I hope you are.
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Thor: The Mighty Avenger #8.
This week sees the final issue of Roger Landridge and Chris Samnee’s Thor: The Mighty Avenger. The title has been felled by something that not even Mjöllnir can beat into submission: poor sales. The title is suffering an unjust fate, as yet another part of an inexplicable comic book market. One of the best, most heartwarming titles on the shelf is being served a Viking’s funeral while other dreck continues to march onward.
If you haven’t picked up this title, I fart in your general direction. Actually, that’s unfair. I miss countless good stuff dropping every month. Budget constraints, et cetera. Even the local comic book shop dude couldn’t believe it when I told him it was one of my favorite monthlies. Isn’t it a kid’s book?, he asked quizzically. Naw dude, not even.
At the root of it, its a growing-up tale. The story of a dude forced to leave home, and cut out his own place in the world. You can’t go home again, even if the road that leads back there is the Rainbow Bridge. The storyline is complimented by humor, romance, and gorgeous pencils and coloring. It’s a shame that the title is ending, but there’s always a chance the bitch is blasted with a scroll of resurrection somewhere down the line.
To Landridge, Samnee, and everyone who worked on the title: you boys rock. Please snag this final issue, and help the argument towards bringing the title back.
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Infinite Vacation #1.
This title was brought to my attention over at Robot 6 yesterday, and it sounds like something straight-up my nerd pipes. The comic, helmed by writer Nick Spencer (Morning Glories) and Christian Ward, takes the concept of augmented reality to the nth degree. Let’s blockquote the premise for great fucking justice!
Billed as a sci-fi love story, the book stars Mark, who lives in a world where alternate realities are up for sale, and buying and trading your way through unlimited variations of yourself is as commonplace as checking your email or updating your status. But then Mark’s other selves start dying.
Awesome! In a world where we’re constantly opting out of reality through a variety of apps; comic books (yup!), television, reality television and computer games where we don whatever identity we want, the premise is both sexily absurd and homegrown. I’m sold. I like my digital persona, I ignore reality while plowing through thousands of pages of fiction, and who the fuck wouldn’t want to escape into our own world? More than we already do.
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Variant Covers: A Sweet Tooth For the Apocalypse!
Good afternoon, internet populace! This is Variant Covers, the column that throws an unedited and poorly written eye at the comic books I’m checking out this week. Per usual, hit me up with your pull-list for the week, and let’s ring in this new year with some fucking funny books!
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Choker #5
The fifth issue of McCool and Templesmith’s jaunt through a futuristic mindfuck noir drops this week. The series has come out sporadically, but every time that it arrives I greet it with a smile. I’m a total slut for profanity, and dystopian futures, so McCool and Templesmith are really just lobbing fastballs down the lane towards me. I’ll eat it up!
This second to last issue sees protagonist Johnny Jackson throwing down with the psychopathic drug-dealing ex-con who has a dickcrush for Jackson’s death. It promises all the violence and profanity I’ve come to love. Oh! And there’s vampires. Buy it for your fourteen year old cousin and show her what sort of shit the real dudes start.
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Who Is Jake Ellis #1
This miniseries starting tomorrow by Nathan Edmonson and Tonci Zonjic is the raging hotness. Want to be the cool kid in your comic shop tomorrow? Either pick this shit up, or act beyond indignant when they say they didn’t order it or sold out. You’re going to gain some credit, duders. I promise. You can’t stop there though. Wear your Lantern Corp ring of choice. You know, the one you got from Free Comic Day. Tie that shit together with your t-shirt of choice (I’m thinking the Alex Ross Obama shirt that’s super unique!) and you’re the pimp now, fanboy!
Seriously though.
The good news is that the comic itself sounds bizarre. Which is, as always, plus-forty points in my book. The premise? It’s centered around Jon Moore who “is the most sought after spy-for-hire in Europe’s criminal world. This is because of Jake Ellis, a psychic man who is invisible to everyone except Moore. When a deal goes bad, the only one who can protect Moore from Europe’s most dangerous criminals is Jake Ellis. No one but Moore can see Jake Ellis. But Jake Ellis can see everything.”
Odd, odd shit. Intrigued? Edmonson spoke with Tim O’Shea over at Robot 6, and its an interesting read.
Color me stoked.
Make Your Own Rorschach Mask. Watchmen Fanboy Alert! [Video.]
Are you like me? Riddled with mental problems. Socially retarded. Stewing for the past eighteen months or so about the Watchmen movie? Have you wanted to kick Zack Snyder’s ass and roll him down a hill of turds and landmines? Well, now you can do it. In fact, you can do it in your own fucking Rorschach mask. Youtube user guinness0507 is dropping knowledge bombs, letting us all know how to pull it off. It involves shit like “Thermochromic paint pigment and clear screen printing base”, which is way beyond me.
But it’s still fucking rad as hell to see in action.
Hit the jump to watch our boy Guinness break it down.
New Batman: Arkham City Screens Show Batman’s Thunderous Pimp Slap!
The best thing about Arkham Asylum was the continuous ass-whupping you got to put onto foes. Batman is a goddamn Jedi when it comes to fighting street rats and ruffians. It’s straight-up the way it should be. These Arkham City screens reassure me that it’s going to be positively more of the same in the sequel I’m sweating. There’s a screen where Wayne is administering a fucking steel door to some douchebag’s sternum. He’s the thunderous bastard everyone fears. For good reason.
Hit the jump for the screens.
Variant Covers: Celebrate The Holidays With Creature Sex Crimes.
Happy holidays, ya’ll! May the deity of your choice smile upon you. May your stockings be stuffed. This is Variant Covers, where I run down what comic books I’m checking out this week. ‘Tis the season for some funny books. Especially with the snow, wind, and overall suckitude of the tangible environment these days in my neck of the woods.
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Neonomicon #3
Alan Moore’s Lovecraftian nightmare conjured into reality continues this week with the third issue. The phrase “mind fuck” is bandied about these days to the point of uselessness. But friends, I can’t resist. This comic book is a mind fuck of the strongest order.
Last issue saw a bathhouse orgy rape scene turn into the grandest of conjurations to summon some sort of reptilian creature seeking a fucking. I can’t remember a comic book so creepy that it gave me the chills. But Moore is crazy like a fox, and has chosen this venue to pontificate on the ability to write reality as a narrative, and other rather weighty topics. It’s the only comic that could be featured in a graduate course, and also be used to get fetish pornography thrown into a whole new venue.
Definitely not for everyone. But if you’re into horror, steam house orgies, or meditations on narrative, I think you’ll enjoyed this shit. As much as you’ll be horrified. You don’t see mythical creature cocks ejaculating into a woman’s mouth and not be changed. Just a little. (Lot.)
Variant Covers: Peter Parker The G’Damn Murderer!
December, and the winter smiles upon us. Its dark bitter smile. Unless you’re one of those fuckers blessed with place of residence that keeps the climate balmy. For the rest of us? Let us escape into the panels, dialogue bubbles, and yes, even the occasional splash page to escape. Ah, escape. Much like I’m escaping into this list of comics that caught my eye this week, to abstain from writing a term paper.
Grab my hand and let’s fly.
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Strange Tales #3
The final issue of the second volume of Strange Tales comes out this week. Just buy this comic book, okay? It’s a collection of indie artists spinning their own unique take on the Marvel characters you’ve come to know. And love. And probably, to an extent, become apathetic to. I don’t usually say this, but even if it’s shitty, it’s probably worth buying. Show some love, so Marvel continues to allow some outside voices to spout off on the characters.
Consider it a dorky political move.
It doesn’t hurt that the comics themselves are generally well done. Some clunkers, but even then, they’re trying. I sound like a little league coach.
Onwards.
Variant Covers: Dig Up The Soul Of Steampunk God!
Variant Covers. Sometimes it’s a love affair. Sometimes it’s an apathetic union. And sometimes its a ruthless hate fuck. Today is the latter. Pressed up against a deadline, I am inspired to do nothing. Refresh the same websites. Pound caffeine. Ignore my schoolwork. But I’m here, you’re here, and there are comics coming out tomorrow. Here’s the shit that may grease your underwear with excitement.
Per usual, hit the comments box with your pull list for tomorrow.
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Lady Mechanika #1
This new comic from Joe Benitez caught my eye when wandering through the various release lists for tomorrow’s loot. G’damn! Sometimes something sneaks up on you, and you want to kiss the gaping asshole of whatever force pushed you in its direction. I’m hoping this a dope find. A gorgeously illustrated steampunk release starring a vixen? Had me at vixen. But here, check out the plot description, “the tabloids dubbed her “LADY MECHANIKA”, the sole survivor of a psychotic serial killer’s three-year rampage through London. Found locked in an abandoned laboratory amidst countless corpses and body parts, with her own limbs amputated and replaced with mechanical components, her life began anew.”
C’mon! Tell me that isn’t worth at least a glance at the introduction. Sold.
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A Collection of Collections.
There’s a collection of collections coming out this week that caught my eye. ‘Tis the season and shit! Gift a comic book nerd you know with one of these bad boys. First up is the second collection of Jeff Lemire’s Sweet Tooth. As someone who is following this in trades, I’m excited to dive back into this series. Think The Road meets fantasy meets familiar tropes of responsibility for society’s future, et cetera. It’s one of my favorite releases of the past year or so.
Speaking of Jeff Lemire, his Superboy #2 is coming out, and if you read the first issue you understand: this title has promise. I don’t give a shit about Superboy, or Smallville for that matter. Or rather, I didn’t. Then Lemire stepped up. God, the dude has writing chops. Jealousy +500.
As well, tomorrow carries the first collection of James Stokoe’s Orc Stain. I can’t find this motherfucker at any comic book shop near me. Trust me, I’ve looked. As my local comic shop continues its depressing slide into bankruptcy, my comic book shop love has become polyamorous. So I’ve slutted around in my search. Now’s a chance to snag it all up and collected from my buddy, Mr. Amazon. I have a good feeling Stokoe is going to be someone we’re all going to be hearing a shitload from in the next couple of years. He’s talented, eccentric, off-kilter, and bizarre. Something of a kindred spirit for my demented brain.
Also last week hee did the world an enormous solid and released an entire unreleased comic book over on his website. Murderbullets. It’s fantastic, and I’m actually saddened I couldn’t spend money to support the effort.
Chris Samnee Does The Superman Movie In Six Panels. Hint: It’s Awesome.
[Enlarge.]
All you have to do is hit the search button on OL to know the raging dick-crush I have for Chris Samnee’s artwork. This current find isn’t doing anything to reduce the purple-headed beast in my pants. Chris Samnee decided to take on the Superman movie in six panels. Why?
Chris Samnee explains over at Comic Twart.
A while back someone on Twitter (so sorry I don’t remember who) was talking about doing a movie as a six panel comic. When I heard the idea, I knew I wanted to do one for my favorite movie, Superman: The Movie. I never got around to it, but figured that Mitch’s pick of Superman this (last) week could be a great time to give it a go! Hope you enjoy!
It’s awesome. But to be clear, almost anything Samnee does is fantastic.
Designs From J.J. Abrams’ Dead Superman Movie Are Sexy
Visual designer Steve Johnson dropped these Superman designs on his Facebook claiming they were from a Bryan Singer Superman movie that never came to be, or a sequel that never materialized. But over at Comics Alliance, they postulate that these sons a bitches were from a J.J. Abrams movie that never got underway, since they bare the title “Flyby” which apparently he was working under.
I like me some J.J. Abrams. Even more than that, I dislike me some Superman Returns by Bryan Singer. Oh, if only Abrams got a shot. Or maybe the script sucked, I never saw it.
I don’t know. All I do know is that these costumes are way better than the low-riding ass clown outfit Singer had Routh wear. And they’re a zillion times better than the Tim Burton conjured abortions for his flick that never came about.
Hit the jump for the designs.
The Plot And Villain Of The Dark Knight Rises Has Leaked. Maybe?
Last month the rumor dropped that the villain for The Dark Knight Rises was going to be Dr. Hugo Strange. The good doctor would be played by Tom Hardy, who could get his Bronson on and act like a truly scary motherfucker. Today those rumor got a be thicker. A bit juicier. A bit more substantial. Something meaty for you to suck on.
In other words, it may have been confirmed.
