#September2014
David Fincher directing entire first season of HBO show, ‘Utopia’
This week is the week of David Fincher! Between Gone Baby Girl Gone Gone coming to theaters and him chatting up his meeting with Star Wars brass, everyone is talking about him. Not content to dominate the news cycle with the aforementioned bits, Fincher has revealed he’s directing an entire season of Utopia for HBO.
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‘Gone Girl’ TV Spot: I Better Learn My Wife’s Blood Type
I’m pretty sure in this TV spot for Gone Girl, the fact that Batman doesn’t know his wife’s blood type is used against him. Like, to prove he’s a murderer or something? Anyways, I’m pretty excited for this movie.
Monday Morning Commute: Special Delivery
It hadn’t been my intention to light the mailman on fire.
I’d just wanted to give him a good scare. A shake-up. A reminder that I’m entitled to nothing less than the respect granted to all employers. `Cause love `em or hate `em, it’s the employers that give us the money for bill-payin’. Don’t believe me? Well, get caught screwin’ your boss’ husband and see how long you can keep payin’ for cable television and discount lapdances and beer and horny-videos and everything else worth livin’ for.
But seriously, I never thought the mailman’d actually go up in flames.
The way I sees it, I’m the mailman’s employer. Why’s that? Well, the mailman’s paycheck comes from taxes. And since I pay taxes most years, it’s my money that becomes his money. Sine qua pro bono. As his employer, it frustrates me to no damn end to see him royally bangin’ the job up the `ole keister. Parcel-delivery is one of the foundations of our friggin democracy! Without it we ain’t more than savages! There’s no excuse for the job bein’ done haphazardly!
And there’s no ignorin’ the fact that the mailman’s been stealin’ my goddamn TV Guides!
So yesterday, I waited by my mailbox. As the mailman approached I asked if he had my TV Guide. When he told me it must’ve been lost in the shuffle, I politely informed him that he was going to lose all of his “filth-riddle ass hairs.” Seizing his moment of confusion, I pushed him into my bushes, sending letters and packages all over the sidewalk. I quickly pulled down the back of his state-issued shorts and covered his buttcheeks with hairspray. As he screamed and squirmed and protested, I kept sprayin’, followin’ the cannister’s instructions to “apply thoroughly.” As I lit the match, I told him that I believed in poetic justice and his theft of my TV Guides had really been chappin’ my ass.
It hadn’t been my intention to light the mailman on fire. But I can’t say I regret it. Where’s my TV Guide?
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Welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! I’m going to list the activities that’ll keep me entertained throughout the week. Your task is to hit up the comments section and share your own suggestions for fun-havin’!
Rock! Roll! Lose control!
OMEGA-LINKS: Agent Carter Roams The Moon!
Pinch my tits and call me an infidel! Another busy-as-fuck Monday, another complete lack of updates. But nary a worry is warranted, friends. Carry your trough up to the table and I’ll fill your little receptacle with the bullshit that got marked “saved for later” today, and the “later” never came.
Including! Agent Carter, those Comcast fuckers, Grant Morrison, the wonderful Police State, and more!
David Fincher wants CHRISTIAN BALE to play Steve Jobs in biopic.
Remember that Steve Jobs flick that Aaron Sorkin was writing the script for? Don’t worry. I completely forgot about it too. You know, the sheer awesomeness that was Ashton Ketchup’s movie about Jobs vaporizing even the idea that there could be another movie about the same topic. But low and fucking behold! The Sorkin joint still exists. Fincher is directing. And get this! Christian Bale may play Jobs.
KEVIN SPACEY and ROBIN WRIGHT directing ‘HOUSE OF CARDS’ episodes. None from THE FINCHER.
After House of Cards was renewed for a second season, the next big question became whether or not David Fincher would direct any episodes. Homeboy directed the pilot, et cetera. We now know the answer: negative. Bummer. Fincher’s aesthetic was a huge sexy portion of the episodes he directed, and immediately disappeared when he was no longer behind the camera. The show’s quality didn’t suffer, but I’m a whore for slick overlays and visual hooks. Alas. So no Fincher.
But! We’ve found ourselves a Spacey and a Wright.
Rumor: Latest ‘STAR WARS’ director possibilities are FINCHER and FAVREAU.
David Fincher? Doing a Star Wars movie? Be still my heart. Then resurrect it using midi-chlorians so I can watch the flick.
‘HALO 4’ Live Action Launch Trailer: You believe a Chief can go Vader
Fuck yeah. I don’t give Halo much thought, but I’ve been interested in seeing what 343 Industries can bring to the franchise. If anything, their rocking out on Halo 4 has brought this gorgeous live action trailer into the fold. Produced by David “I love male bonding flicks” Fincher, it’s a look into a piece of Master Chief lore.
MGM Takes A Loss On ‘GIRL WITH DRAGON TATTOO’, Fincher Gonezo?
MGM didn’t make a lot of money from The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. Go figure. They released a long as fuck dismal as hell R-rated movie at Christmas. Why didn’t it crush the box office?
Official DVD For ‘GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO’ Looks Like Pirated Disc. Oh, Clever.
Sony has gone out of its way to market The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo in clever ways, with the most recent example being their DVD. Instead of some glossy product, they’re riffing on all those pirated discs we used to rock back in the day.
Hit the jump to check it out.
