#December2009
Dante’s Inferno Preview: God of Ripoffs
I’ve completed the Dante’s Inferno demo, and I have to say, I’ve never been so utterly impressed by how much of a ripoff a game is of another title. But Dante’s Infero has just done that. Like, the fucking game should be called God of War: Italian Epic Poem Style or some shit. Everything, everything, everything is like God of War. Chests for health? Check. Typical air-juggle move? Check. Fatalities? Check. Annoying quick-time sequences? Double check. Like seriously, holy shit. I’m flummoxed as to how one studio can riff on another studio so fucking hardcore.
The craziest part? I liked it way, way more than the God of War III demo. So without further adieu, I’ll capture my experience of playing the Dante’s Inferno demo.
Okay, let’s see here. What the fuck is going on. Some lame cartoon cinematic. It’s an oliphant from Lord of the Rings. Awesome. Ah, this dude is like, stitching a cross into his chest? That’s pretty fucked up. Okay, cool. Alright, boring cinema. Jesus Christ, I just want to kill shit. Alright, combat. Hey, wow, is this game running on the God of War III engine? This is exactly the same shit. Ah, combat. Also exactly the same. Except it’s much easier. Oh shit, alright air-juggle. Good, if this game is God of War, I need my air-juggle. Killing shit, killing shit. What the fuck, I’m fighting the Grim Reaper? This is fucked up. I just ripped out his spine, and now I’m using it as a weapon? Fucking crazy.
Hey, they didn’t just ripoff God of War, they ripped off Gladiator. Here is Maximus…I mean Dante returning home. Oh hey his wife is dead, no shit. Wow, they show her dead and she has one titty hanging out? Flagrant nudity, even more than God of War. Nice. Impressive. Alright, more combat. Hey, his wife is laying on a tomb or some shit. Naked. Wow. And now they’re showing him copulating and shit in a new cartoon cinematic. Wow. And now I’m shooting laser crosses out of my hands.
Oh hey, a magic gauge. Like God of War.
Hey look, flying thingies, just like the harpies from God of War.
Boring platforming. Sliding down shit. Blah, blah blah.
Holy shit, Virgil! What’s up dude. How have you been? You look stupid.
Fighting, fighting, blah blah. Hey, now I’m riding some beast thing or something. Stomping around and shooting fire. It’s sort of like exactly completely when you ride the Cyclops in God of War. Smash smash smash.
Door opens. Demo ends.