The Expendables sucked. I didn’t object to the premise: a bunch of washed-up pieces of cultural refuse team up to kick ass and harken back to the old days. The problem was that there was too much pontificating and posturing and Mickey Rourke’s drooly lip. Maybe the second one will get it right. Explosions and death: yes. Blathering about the price of war: no.

They have gotten one thing right: adding fucking Van Damme to the mix.

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