Lordy, lordy! Look what motherfucking time it is, my friend! ‘Tis nothing less than the most glorious time of the fucking week. Namely, the fucking weekend! I just got done grading eighteen essays, which means I can shut my brain the fuck down until Sunday! It’s been an absolute nut-crusher of a week, and I cannot wait to vaporize my brain, engorge my stomach, and titillate my ocular-globes.

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I’m not going to lie. I completely forgot that today was Friday. I’m all, all, all turned around this week. Losing track of holidays, teeth, children, teeth, what day of the week it is, and where in the space-time continuum I’m currently located. So apologies!, for getting this Weekend’s Open Bar up a bit late. For some reason I thought tomorrow was Friday? And that my teeth went in the pot roast? But that’s neither here nor there. I’m turned around, primarily, because today is goddamn Christmas. And a good goddamn hello to many people’s good goddamn savior, the goddamn Son of The OMNIVERSE! Welcome Jimmy Crimbus! Of Betelgeuse!

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