For years I’ve been gathering friends on Facebook. People I barely know. Click Friend Request. Click. Click. All part of a master scheme of sending a fair amount of strangers pictures of testicles dressed up as Super Mario from random email addresses. The only sticking point is how to collate all of these email addresses. Facebook has given me a new tool of destruction, the ability to download all of my friends’ contact data. If they opt-in. Opt-in. Please.

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