#February2014
‘AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON’ now shooting; ‘EPISODE VII’ begins in MAY.
Combining both of these non-news news reports into one Titanic Machination of Non-News. Why? ‘Cause I cannot wait for 2015. It’s going to have HUGE, HUGE fucking RAMIFICATIONS on my life. No! Not my marriage, you idiots. (Thought that’s happening. 6.6.2015. Write it down, boners.) Instead, two of the biggest movies I’ve ever sweated are dropping.
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DEFINITE: ‘PREACHER’ heading to AMC; Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg writing
What the fucking golly gosh is this? TV adaptation news day? Third fucking story in the last twenty-four hours. Anyhoo! Less grousing, more newsing. Out of the three stories, this is my favorite. Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg are definitely bringing Preacher to AMC.
EVANGELINE LILLY up for ‘ANT-MAN’ female lead. Hell yeah.
Despite being in the middle of a miserable, underdeveloped, brutally shoehorned love triangle, I enjoyed Evangeline Lilly in that disastrous riot of suck that was the second Hobbit movie. Whew! Holy run-on sentence! So with that in mind, you say she’s up for the female lead in Ant-Man? I say fuck yeah! And it could be Wasp? Double fuck yeah.
DC APOLOGIZES for asking aspiring artists to draw NAKED, SUICIDAL HARLEY QUINN. Ridiculous.
The craziest part of this story is that none of it is from the rotting membranes of my filth-dome. DC comics really is this fucking stupid. Especially since this nonsense occurred the same week that they essentially jettisoned one of their more prominent auteur creators over stagnant, company-wide policies that allow for little growth or complexity. New 52! LOL.
‘BATWOMAN’ CREATIVE TEAM LEAVES over DC’S CONTINUAL EDITORIAL F**KERY.
The hot topic in the comic book world today. The Batwoman creative team of J.H. Williams III and W. Haden Blackman have exited the title, citing continual DC fuckery regarding the trajectory of their story lines. The most prominent complaint of theirs is that DC refused to allow Kate Kane to marry her fiancee Maggie Sawyer.
Maybe: BRYAN CRANSTON to play LEX LUTHOR in a BUTTLOAD OF MOVIES
This rumor started a couple of weeks ago, and hasn’t let up since. Still though, I’m not ready to stamp it confirmed. Not when the beginning of the echo chamber is Cosmic Book News’ movie website. No offense to those peeps. Probably great souls. The rumor? The Danger himself is going to be playing Luthor. For a lot of movies.
JEFF LEMIRE is helming the ‘JUSTICE LEAGUE OF CANADA.’ So rad.
Jeff Lemire is one of the premiere talents in the game right now, son. Right now! And I am scientifically certain that 99% of his talents are derived from sucking in the clean, deliciously melodious bursts of Canadian air. The aforementioned Lemire will be bringing his Canadian-powered prowess to the Justice League game next year. And he’s doing it right, by bringing the team up north with him.
New AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2′ photos tease the SINISTER SIX. Oh golly!
All team-up everything! Good guys! Villains! If your comic book movie doesn’t have more than one superhero in it, it doesn’t fucking matter. That’s a cosmic fact. Amazing Spider-Garfield 2 knows this.
ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN Miles Morales DEFINITELY COMING to regular MARVEL U. Lame.
Miles Morales was really neat because he was a half-Hispanic, half-African American who was the Spider-Man of the UMU. Well, now he’s coming to the regular Marvel U. And he’ll be just one Spider-Person among a deluge of clones, dumb asses, Doc Ock, and others. This has me significantly bummed.
