Geek-Lord Nathan Fillion. It almost seems ludicrous that he hasn’t found himself a role in the MCU, right? Like — c’mon. Makes almost too much sense. However, the Geek-Lord Supreme may be at least dipping his toes into the Marvel Movie Slipstream with a cameo in Guardians of the Galaxy.

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Grow, Image! Grow! Swell up, and strike at the heart of the Mighty Two. Or at least keep pumping out all the creator-owned comic books that get my geek-lit-sequential-art-nipples hard.

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Man. You think Thor was seven-shades of rotting ass douche for not seeing Jane Foster post-Avengers? Fucking Agent Coulson has been running around back from the fucking dead for a serious minute now, and he ain’t contacted his beautiful bitty. But all of that shit is going to change now, according to latest casting news. Steel yourself for a proper slap to the face, Coulson.

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Crisis on Infinite Spider-Verse! In October, Marvel along with Dan Slott with Olivier Coipel will be dropping the thickest batch of Spider-Load you can imagine. All sorts of fucking Spider-Guys fighting stuff! In fact — all the goddamn Spider-Folk. So while I generally wouldn’t check out a Spidey event, the return of Parker combined with Coipel handling the artwork has me intrigued.

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I fucking resent the shit out of the fact that I think this latest trailer for X-Men: Days of Future Past is fucking awesome. So conflicted! Much goosebumps!

Hit the jump to check it out.

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You know what they say. You can’t hold a flailing franchise down! I mean, fuck. Despite rumors that they may gut the entire fucking Fantastic Four corpse and start anew five months prior to filming (please keep Michael B. Jordan), Fox has already announced a date for the sequel. And the Wolverine sequel. And a “mystery” Marvel project.

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When Steve Rogers plunged his silly ass into the ocean (if you go by movie canon, agreed, okay, shut the fuck up), he didn’t just take the world’s only super soldier out of the game. He ripped a piece of glorious propaganda out of the hands of the United States to employ during the Cold War. So what is a government to do? Find another Cap! Generate a facsimile. Captain America 3 could follow more Brubaker goodness and explore what happens when the Captain America stand-in goes fucking apeshit.

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Oh boy! A fucking choir and poignant proclamations in this trailer!  So while it seems that Parker seems to be pretty stoked to be Spider-Man, I’m imagining his house of cards shall come tumbling down. ‘Cause though he seems to like all of that fucking shit when times are good, I’m interested to see how stoked he is when the villains shit down his lungs and he snaps Gwen’s neck with webbing. Sad Spider-Boner then, I imagine.

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Oh yeah! Wait — that Marvel: Assembling The Universes and Shit special was on tonight? On ABC? I didn’t catch it. Forgot. Thankfully for my ass, every fucking website is posting the concept art that Marvel revealed during it. There’s some dope stuff within, but I’m pretty sure everyone is just going to be stroking, slapping, or rubbing it to one piece of art in particular. Tony Stark’s Hulkbuster armor going head to head with the Hulk. Goddamn. Hulkbuster. Boner. Hulkbuster. Say it again, baby. Hulkbuster.

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If this ain’t a mess for a Marvel flick happening outside of its Studios Umbrella. Word on the street (or at least the Internet street, which is rife with homeless people, semen-filled syringes, and speculation) is that Fox is actively looking to dump pretty much everything related to its Fantastic Four flick.

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