#August2013
AQUAMAN is getting his F**KING BEARD BACK in ISSUE #25. About time.
I don’t read Aquaman. Even with this latest development, I will not read Aquaman. Still though, I’m happy as shit that they’re finally doing the King of the Fishies proper and giving him his beard back.
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DC teases JOKER’S DAUGHTER’S debut in NEW 52. Frankly, I didn’t know she existed.
Duela Dent is coming to the New 52! Hide your kids, hide your wives. Jesus Christ, talk about a stale cultural reference. Fuck you, Caff! Anyways, yeah. Joker’s Daughter is coming to the refried DC Universe. Perhaps this excites you. Frankly, I didn’t even know the Joker had a daughter. I understand this is a cascading wave of comic book failure raising towards me.
DC’s NEXT CROSSOVER pits JUSTICE LEAGUE teams against one another. Snore?
Jesus titty-fucking a kangaroo, this is dumb. We’re not even a year removed from Avengers fighting X-Men fighting Tediousness, and we have DC doing their best imitation of the Event. Oh sure I’m sure there will be marginal differences, but come on. Come onnn. The only thing more played out than the ennui-inducing concept of a super team is having those teams that populate a company’s universe fighting one another.
NEIL GAIMAN returning to Marvel, bringing ANGELA with him.
I didn’t see this one coming. I suppose that isn’t surprising, since I cannot see much through the womb of caffeine and masturbating that I exist within. Neil Gaiman is returning to Marvel, and the good man is bringing Angela with him. Yes, that Angela. The one he co-created with Todd McExpensiveBaseBalls way back in the day.
DC “pulling back” on variant covers. Despite release FIFTY-TWO variants of ‘JLA’ #1. Lawl.
Don’t ever start making sense, DC. I’d hate to take you pig-greasers seriously. Or rather, take the minds at the top making all the puke-covered decisions. I take a lot of the creative minds at the joint very seriously. The latest noise coming out of their Den is that they plan on pulling back on variant covers. This is said, of course, in light of the news that they’re dropping fifty-two variants for JLA #1.
Joe Madureira leaves Vigil games to focus on comics. My 1994 self is losing its mind.
Joe Madureira was like, the jam. Man. Way back in the day, I was obsessed with the guy. Then he stopped drawing watermelon boobs and hands the size of basketballs to tool around on other projects. Which is probably for the best, allowing me to not actively figure out how much I didn’t enjoy his style any longer. Now the dude is returning to comics though seemingly full time, and my past self is pretty excited.
Famke Jansse dropping JEAN GREY cameo in ‘The Wolverine’, aiight.
Don’t really care for Famke Janssen one way or the other appearing in The Wolverine. What I do give a shit about is keeping her out of the First Class universe, but I’m not holding my breath. How do you folks feel?
Image Publisher Eric Stephenson on AvX: Who will care in 10 years? This dude rules.
Eric Stephenson continues to dominate both the comic landscape and my heart. The Image Comics publisher has lobbed some bombs at Marvel’s current assy Super Event, pointing out the obvious: no one is going to give a shit in a decade.
‘FANTASTIC FOUR’ REBOOT Being Penned By Jeremy Slater. I Am Not Familiar.
The Fantastic Four reboot that is being helmed by Josh Trank has landed itself a writer by the name of Jeremy Slater. I am not familiar with this lad.
