Pretty fucking self-explanatory. If you want to see early images of Crossbones, Cap, and Falcon, hit the jump. If you don’t wanna, stay ye hand. Teaser: Crossbones looks fucking awesome.

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Chris Evans has confirmed that Infinity War is going to begin filming next year. No surprise. And it’s going to shoot both parts back to back. No surprise. Also? It’s going to take nearly a year. A brutal, brutal non-surprise. Is there going to be any actor even remotely not miserable with their participation in the MCU by the end of the Avengers: Infinity War shoot? Holy fuck.

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Avengers 3 is going to be a big, frothy, gushing, ass-clenching, vision-blowing climax orgasming out of the gooey guts of Marvel’s Pleasure Organs. The culmination of their entire cinematic endeavor so far. To the point where I’m wondering, “Where the fuck do they go from there?” So it makes sense that this flick will be two-movies, seeing as almost every “Trilogy” these days sees its final installment split into two.

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It turns out that Sebastian Stan’s (Bucky…and well, don’t IMDB if you don’t want to know) Marvel movie contract is longer than Chris Evans’. At first blush this seems confusing as Hell. Especially to someone who is a comics outsider. However, fans of Ed Brubaker’s run on Captain America (HI! IT MAKES MY DONG FROTH IN WAYS THAT DEFY ONTOLOGICAL EXPLANATIONS) know how this could work. In a glorious, glorious way.

Hit the jump for (what I hope) is accurate speculation.

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Truthfully, I’m at work. So I managed to watch like nine seconds of this before I had to turn it off. Sound issues and all that fucking jumbo donkey feces. But I did manage to see Fury being like LOLWTF I’M ABOUT TO GET FUCKED. And then Winter Soldier is like BURN BRO.

It seems neat.

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Hey it’s a new poster for The Winter Soldier. In case you missed the last podcast (hey! look at this!) I’m pretty excited for this movie. So I’m just going to gobble up the fecal-blasts from the brown-coated entertainment wind tunnel that is Marvel’s Marketing Arm. Yum, yum! A distended belly full of nonsense and whizbang!

If you actually care about this poster, hit the jump. Let’s laugh at it together.

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Awww yeah, Cap! You take that mask off for me! Hunka hunka burning Patriotism. Seriously though. Thirty-seconds of Winter Soldier action right here. How much new stuff? Prolly pretty much like .0002 seconds. I dun care! It dun matter! Stoked.

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Captain America: The Winter Soldier got an International Trailer. Smidgen of new footage. An added laugh. IDGAF, I’m smitten.

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Forgive the ridiculous title. I’m sorry! I have like 36,000 calories in me, caffeine rocketing around the guts like lightning! Viva America’s True Religious Holiday: Super Bowl Sunday! Anyways — holy fuck at this trailer. A truly gluttonous trailer for a truly gluttonous occasion. Too much awesome. Too many ridiculous moments. In a trailer.

I’m too excited for this movie.

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Another teaser for a Super Bowl trailer has dropped. Go figure! A teaser for a trailer. Go figure! It’s for a comic book movie. Needless snark aside may I just say — oh god I have an erection. An erection for fighting sleeper agent threats, dudes with flying backpacks, Chris Evans, and more.

Hit the jump for the teaser trailer…teaser.

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