Don’t blame me, I just wanted to reference Rust In Peace. Chinese Hackers have totally traversed the Metaverse, snagged the Golden Bauble from our DOJ hives, and returned him as victorious warriors. Of course, that’s what I imagine it all going down. I’m probably completely incorrect.

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Oh, you know there be some cyber warfare afoot. How do I know? You can riff its pungent scent among the air. It smells like generic tropes of nerdery, including Cheetos-stained fingers, heavy metal music, and most importantly Angelina Jolie. When will I disassociate her and Hackers from actual hacking? Never.

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