Sesame Street is moving to HBO, and I can’t help but feel like that sucks. Taking such a wonderful show for children available on PBS and putting it behind a paywall feels like a green-tinted shade of capitalist bullshit! Just saying.

Read the rest of this entry »

…and another one of my childhood wrestling icons has bitten the dust. May the warmth of the sun warm your back as you walk through the Elysium Fields, sweet prince. (Of darkness.)

Read the rest of this entry »

They’re making a Battleship movie. Like, the game.

Via /Film
Universal has officially signed filmmaker Peter Berg (who was in talks) to direct a big screen adaptation of Hasbro’s board game Battleship

At first I thought it was a horrible idea. But what if, like, they make it some eerie meta-narrative? Like, you have this brutal naval battle between two parties. And at some point, they cut to two people moving the pieces of a Battleship game board. And just when you thought it was some trite war movie based loosely off of another childhood relic, you realize it’s some psychedelic narrative on the freedom of choice and the manipulation of countries populations to wage war over natural resources. The guys on the ships realize that they’re nothing more than plastic pawns of two masters waging the war on some level imperceptible to them.

Then the plastic battleships, upon this realization somehow fix themselves in the esophagus of the players, bringing down the man. Or the men if you will.

Naw, it’ll just be a shitty naval movie.