[via all games beta]

You have to be fucking kidding me. Deadpool? Dante? Chris Redfield? Marvel vs. Capcom 3 is going to be the icy hotness. Fire burning hot and uh cold, and shit. Click the images to embiggen these motherfuckers.

Read the rest of this entry »

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown wiser. Much wiser. I don’t want to toot my horn, but with enough undergraduate philosophy courses to complete two degrees, I’ve spanned the spectrum of intellectual debate. Because of this, I’ve gleamed insight the average mouthbreather can’t fathom, and I’d like to impart on you some of that knowledge.

Every and any problem in life can be fixed by a spinning lariat. Zangief and Mother Russian will show you the way.

Boyfriend treating you poorly?

Spinning Lariat that motherfucker.

Cat in a tree?

Spinning Lariat that fucking piece of bark.

Bills overdue?

Spinning Lariat those nuisances.

Car not working?

Spinning Lariat the engine into mush!

Episode of LOST making you homicidal?

Spinning Lariat that fucking LCD!

It’s elementary.

You’re all fucking welcome.

Motherfucking Marvel Vs Capcom 3 is real, and there’s a trailer to prove it. I can’t even count how many hours I poured over Marvel vs Capcom 2 on my Japanese Dreamcast. Or how many expletives I dropped as I was air-juggled through a crouching fierce punch. Fucking bullshit! Anyways. Despite showing absolutely no gameplay, this trailer has me geeking out. Fuck Street Fighter IV, this franchise captures the spirit of my generation. Super fast paced, numbers and happenings everywhere, buttons mashing a-go-go. That’s probably heretical to some, but to me it’s axiom.

You have to appreciate the sort of shitty, douchebag business model that Capcom pushes. There was already a total uproar over Resident Evil 5’s multiplayer modes being sold as DLC instead of being packaged on the disc. And now? Grease up your butts, they’re releasing Super Street Fighter IV as a full retail release. What does SSFIV bring to us gamers?

Via Kotaku:

Capcom today have announced Super Street Fighter IV, a new, standalone title which is Street Fighter IV with eight new characters added and some tweaks made based on community feedback.

A full retail release? For eight new characters? You have to be fucking kidding me. I find it mind boggling that they need a full retail release for eight new characters and some “tweaks” – a beautifully nebulous and indistinct term – while companies like Bethesda offer new episodic content for $12.50. Don’t fucking fret, Capcom has their asses covered. Tell us Capcom, why can’t you release this as DLC?

Ono says the changes are so extensive that they couldn’t just be tacked on, so a disc release was necessary.

Really? Really? Really? I’d like to spin kick whoever believes that shit. Anyone who has played WoW knows the sort of stuff they can do via downloads and patches. The entire game can be remade for Christ’s sake. But these nebulous tweaks can’t be sold through Live! or PSN?

But don’t worry, it probably, maybe, certainly wouldn’t be full price. Apparently it’ll come with some sort of reduced price, and get this, an as-of-yet unannounced, special treat for people who own both the original SFIV and SSFIV.

Here’s hoping it’s some salve, for the bruised ass Capcom is going to leave you with.